going batty

Back on June 5, 2012, my husband was trimming our trees and came across this momma bat with her three babies. 

A Lasiurus Intermedius, or northern yellow bat, with her babies

Since it's illegal to attempt to relocate bats, he returned them to one of our trees.  These are a prettier species than some of the other bats I've seen in our area.

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Today, my husband found one of these pretty little bats in our driveway.  Having appeared to have been caught and killed by one of our cats, questions were raised about rabies and how to handle this situation.  The kids, overhearing our conversation, began their own investigations on the internet; so, I believe a homeschooling lesson on bats (and rabies) is in order now.

I contacted our local Animal Control Center expecting them to pick up the bat and test it for rabies, but as it had not bitten anyone, they were less than concerned and directed us to simply throw it out in the trash.  

For the next 2 weeks, we will be keeping a sharp eye on our three cats for any sign of illness.  Should the cats show signs of rabies and/or bite or scratch one of us, we will report to Animal Control (again) and a rabies test will be done on our pet. Although, we strongly doubt these bats are infected as they have not been aggressive towards us or our animals in the past.  

Sunday's date night!

Sapling and I arranged a girls' night out - just the two of us.

We went out to eat, followed by the Finding Nemo in 3-D flick, and then wrapped things up at Cherry Berry.  There's already talk of our next girls' night too.

busy blogger

Flip flopping between my responsibilities and my blogs - just finished a new banner on the homeschooling blog.  It's a cute one of Drew, but I'd really like both Wolfie and Drew on the banner.  Well, we've got a photo shoot planned (hope it pans out okay and the weather cooperates).

My sister-in-law, Marina, dropped off her son, Blade, for some tutoring.  She had mentioned yesterday that she was having trouble helping him with homework and jokingly said that he would have to get with me about it (because I homeschool).  I said, "sure" but I honestly didn't think she would take me up on it so soon.  It went fine except that it did seem like an extra distraction for Wolfie and Drew (I could tell they were trying, but it was still a distraction).  At first it appeared that Marina and her husband, Jimmy, were going to stay and watch, but I quickly kicked them out (I don't need that distraction too).  I am hoping this does not become a daily thing because I don't think it will serve Wolfie and Drew too good.  Hopefully they call before coming next time, rather than just popping in unexpectedly the way they did yesterday - this way I can veto, if necessary.

The Big Talk

Talk about sick.  Roy and I were stressing SO much over talking with Jr and Paige about our new stipulations and the deadline to move out.  By the time the moment seemed to present itself, it was about 10:00 p.m.  

Knocked on their door and they called to us to come in. We entered to find them both laying on their bed just relaxing and watching television.  We asked if it was a good time to talk and flipped the light on when they agreed.  I hem hawed throughout the conversation as I stumbled around for the right wording.  The room is ridiculously crammed with boxes that have been opened, muddled through, and then pushed aside.  Clothes are flung all over the room but nothing hangs in the closet.  Dirty dishes are stacked here and there and it appears one area of the floor is designated for trash.  This is ridiculous.  This is a sign too.  I can honestly say, for all of their big talk about getting together, getting on their own and starting a family, these two weren't planning to move out any time soon.  And so, I put a damper on things...

It went something like, "...well, we want to talk to you and it's nothing that will surprise you, I don't think, ...I mean to say, we've already talked about it some before.... and I don't know how to handle this either, but I've Googled the situation... and your dad and I have talked and we've decided... since it doesn't appear that you (Jr) are really trying, with any real effort, to get a job... and ya'll aren't going to get out on your own with only Paige's income... and if you're wanting to be married and start your own family, you really need to be financially independent of us.  We've decided to start charging rent for the space.  It will be $300.00 a month due on the first of each month... and by the end of March, ya'll need to be moved out... and we don't want your money, we plan to give it back when you move out... but we just want you to get used to paying some sort of rent, and saving some money too... we really hope to do renovations this coming year, and the kids (Drew and Wolfie) really need their own spaces... so, I'll be rearranging Aaron as well... but we're just trying to help ya'll..."

Oh gawd.  It didn't sound very parental or "authorative" at all, but I do think I got the point across - to an extent.  We'll work it out more as we go along.  They didn't respond much except in the affirmative now and then, as if to say they understand or agreed.  We left the room to let them talk.  That was Sunday night, and they haven't really spoken much to me any further about it.

Moving around the kitchen yesterday, Drew and I nearly collided with Paige and I laughed and tried to joke about it, but she said absolutely nothing.  I told Roy about this later and he said, "Good. Maybe she 'gets' it now."  He blames Paige a lot for the situation, but I am quick to remind him that Jr is as much to blame as she is (then Roy agrees).

As much as (I'm sure) Jr and Paige do not like being put in this position, I (as well) do not like being put in this position either.  If only they had taken more initiative to get out on their own (like they had first said), none of us would be in this position. And I truly hate when people put me in a position I don't like to be in - but shit happens.  Either way, my priority is to be a mother and guide these kids into the direction of independence.  They'll be angry at me now, but they'll understand and even appreciate it later (I'm pretty sure - at least, I did after my mother pulled out her tough-love card with me back in the day).  And! They always have options! They have the option of living with Jr's brother (Corey), living with Jr's grandparents, living with his cousin (maybe), living with Jr's bio-mom (haha), living with Paige's family (in Alaska), or living on their own (which I thought was their preference anyhow).

If I know Jr, he doesn't like being told what to do nor being given an ultimatum; so, he'll likely sit on it for a month or so and do more of nothing - just to get his point across, that he's not going to be told what to do. (A huge sign of immaturity). Eventually (I hope), he'll get out there and secure a job.  I'm hoping Paige will get enthusiastic about apartment or house-hunting and begin encouraging him to work.  It's ironic really, because as much as Jr hates taking direction from anyone, he requires direction from Paige (he's become more the follower than I ever thought he would be).

tick-tock * tick-tock

Announcements & Deadlines

If you've been following my blog at all lately, then you already know that my husband and I are struggling with our son (Jr) and his girlfriend (Paige) "squatting" here. It's come to our attention, after encouraging Jr on many occassions to get a job, that he is not working because Paige does not want him to work (and that Jr feels this is Paige's way of controlling him).

Well, firstly, we had agreed to let them move in on a temporary basis, until they are able to move out on their own.

Secondly, they are never going to be able to move out on Paige's income alone. And! Jr told us that his savings is dwindling down to nothing again.

Thirdly, Jr does have the option of telling Paige, "I understand that you don't want me to work but I have to, and I'm going to, because that's the only way we can afford our own place."

And finally, to top it off, Paige announced to me yesterday that she is having her (birth control) pin in her arm removed on Monday. And, having previously informed me a couple of months back that they wanted to rush right into having babies, this can only mean one thing - impending pregnancy.

So, let me make it clear - my grandbabies, I will hug and kiss and squeeze and love 'em all over. But it would give me great pride if their PARENTS would make more responsible decisions and maybe allow themselves to become financially independent before rushing into having babies.  I mean, these kids have not even made it through one year without breaking up.  The first year, Jr was in Afghanistan, and even then, they were breaking up so many times it was ridiculous.  Then, we have this year, when Jr left the military and moved home with Paige after she had spent every last penny in his bank account on boobs and B.S. (then, she leaves him again (when there was no more money to spend) and went back to Alaska).

So, Roy and I have been talking for months now about giving the kids a deadline to move out.  Our plan is, Sunday we will sit down with both Paige and Jr and do our own announcing which includes:  (1) beginning January 1st they will be required to pay $300 rent on the 1st of each month, (2) by the last day of March they will be required to move out, and (3) we'll tell them that we do not want their money, but will return their rent money to them IF they move out by the end of March (incentives).  Now, secretly, of course Roy and I will be flexible with them IF they are showing reasonable effort.  We just feel, they need a taste of being on their own, in order to really know whether or not it's really going to work out between them, and to know the struggles young families go through.  Again, getting into that "tough love" stuff.

schooling/unschooling

While investigating our homeschooling options and throughout my decision-making-process, I have repeatedly come across the "unschooling" option.  After my initial research, my feeling about "unschooling" was disinterest and I brushed it off.  Having had my own education through the "bricks and mortar" schools, and having had my three eldest sons graduate from the "bricks and mortar" schools (albeit, a couple of them by a hair's breadth and simply because of lack of interest, rebellion, and lack of accountability in the school), I wanted our homeschooling experience to be very scheduled in conjunction with a core curriculum reflective to that of the public school's.  Homeschooling was not an easy decision to make; my biggest fear being that I would end up doing a disservice to my children; on the other hand, I felt by leaving my babies in our local public schools, I was already doing a disservice to them.  

Two years ago, we took the "plunge" and never looked back.  To this day, I cannot fathom even entertaining the idea of returning into our local school district.  We began by entering into a public school affiliated program called Connections Academy (CA).  Connections Academy has spread rapidly through the states, and ours was linked (at the time) to the Harris County school district.  All of the CA classes are done at home and over the computer (which is provided by the school).  It was a fantastic program, and the only beef I had was that the standards for progression were (still) rushing my children through their academics too fast.  Consequently, having dipped my toes slowly into the homeschooling pool, we left CA to dive right into the homeschooling pool; by this, I mean to say that we continue to work from textbooks (previously used in the bricks and mortar schools) but we work at our own pace.

Today, I had a new spark of interest regarding the "unschooling" experience; so, I researched, and I find that unschooling is to allow a child-led interest-driven learning, or to allow the child to learn through their own natural life experiences.  <hmmmm> In this rite, what child isn't unschooled to some extent?  I'm supposing, there are those parents that solely "unschool" their children... but still, I don't feel this is for us - I mean, exclusively.

So, we homeschool and unschool here.

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"Made" the kids go to lunch with us again today - I like that it's another opportunity for them to get our of the house, as well as being another opportunity for me and Roy to pick their brains.

I plan to run by the store after work for a few supplies for today's art project.  We'll be learning about, and creating our own Zen sand garden.  I'll post more on it tomorrow.

memories in the making

Spent yesterday evening homeschooling with my babes.  Wolfie was lacking the appropriate amount of sleep; I sympathized so we took things slow and a little on the lazy side.  Regardless, I immersed myself in enjoying every moment with them.  

After schooling, Drew and I made strawberry cupcakes together and she decorated each with her signature (generous) dose of candied toppings.  

Today for lunch, Roy and I, along with Wolfie and Drew, went out to eat at a new burger joint (Burger Nation) and while I'm certain the kids would have preferred to stay home and be lazy, I enjoyed making the memory.

A video I'll share with Drew tonite...

disturbing dreams

I had another bad dream last night.  For the past two weeks I've been remembering some of my dreams each night.  Some of them have been bad, others just plain confusing or funny.  Last night was similar to another I'd had in the recent past in that I'd forgotten Drew at the park.

In the first dream, I'd left Drew in an open grassy area of the park to play with a little friend.  From there, I'd left with a few people to go shopping.  It wasn't until I'd returned home after nightfall that I remembered Drew.  My stomach instantly knotted up with the knowledge that I'd probably never see her again; that my life had now changed, and that a stranger had surely snatched her away.  Roy and I jumped in the car to go look for her, stopping at Drew's friend's home down the road to see if she had seen Drew.  Initially, Roy was going to drive around town to see if we spotted her and I urged him to start at the park where we'd left her.  Arriving at the field, it was dark and no one was in sight.  We made our way over to a small building several yards away from where we'd last seen Drew.  The lights were turned off and only a couple of people exited the building.  We entered into a dark hallway and I called out for Drew.  Instantly she turns the corner, arms crossed and a very stern look on her face making it obvious she was not pleased.  She informed me that the Veterinarian (whose office must have been in the building) had said that it was against the rules to leave her there alone.  I scooped her up and hugged her tightly - waking instantly, and stressed.

In last nights dream, I'd left Drew in the park to go out of town with a couple of friends.  We returned a few hours later and I remembered Drew.  I jumped in a sort of little scooter type vehicle and raced as fast as it would go, making my way down the block, I only had a couple more to go to reach the park where I'd last seen Drew; but just as I reached the corner at the end of the block, I woke.  I was so stressed after waking that I had to immediately daydream the finish on a positive note.

What does this mean?  My initial thought was that I'm not spending enough time with them.  It has been stressing me but I haven't said anything to anyone about it; after all, we're starting our homeschooling again and I'll be spending every evening after work with them.  I relayed the dreams to Roy and he agreed - from now on, we FORCE the kids to go with us when we go out to eat (they prefer to stay home and play their electronic games, but tough cookies!)!!

Then, I went to work today and made an internet search for "dreams of forgetting child in park" and one of the first results that jumped out at me was a wiki answer: "Your subconscious is trying to tell you that you are neglecting a very important aspect of your life." - not surprised by this (always trust your instincts).

Next week I'm planning an outing for a yearly photo shoot of Wolfie and Drew.  We're overdue.