Seems the only time I can think life over is in the car going from here to there, and lying in bed at nights with the lights out, in the movie theatre, and especially in the shower - those are the best blogs that usually stay in my head and never make it to black and white.
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He controls her... and I suppose, she allows it, but she is so unhappy. He is angry and he takes it out on her. When he yells, he is a monster. His words cut. And I want to save her. It should be me. I can handle it. She can't. She is weak and afraid. But I am a monster. Monster vs. Monster - that's the fair fight. I have words that cut deep. I have been trained - and adequately. I thought I was over it... but now I wonder. Am I? I think about him and I dream of yelling at him, in ways she never will. I dream of attacking him the way he attacks her verbally. An eye for an eye.... leaving everyone blind. Bastard. I will see you screaming.
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You have no idea how hard I've looked
for a gift to bring You.
Nothing seemed right.
What's the point of bringing gold to
the gold mine, or water to the ocean.
...Everything I came up with was like
taking spices to the Orient.
It's no good giving my heart and my
soul because you already have these.
So I've brought you a mirror.
Look at yourself and remember me.
(Jalalud'din Rumi)
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