To be or not to be

I'm generally a private person. I never put anything too  terribly personal (i.e., an argument or disappointment with a friend or family member) out there (i.e., like on Facebook). On some level, I believe I even (at times) resent that I keep things to myself so much. Everyday I would log on to my Facebook account, and everyday I would read post after post from all of my "friends" sounding off about their own ups and downs. I didn't. I wanted to though... 

I think about my past, and I think about all the crap I wished I would have documented for myself, and maybe even for my conveniently forgetful family. But, maybe its better that I didn't, huh. Easier to leave some of that past behind, right.

And then, 

do you ever find yourself wishing that you could install those little spy cameras all over the house, so you can do a playback anytime you wanted? 

Yeah. 

Me too.

Consequently, this. This blog is my personal sounding board. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And while it's not so private being web-based and all - I haven't pushed it to be too public.  I haven't given the site address to anyone, and when I follow other blogs, I do it anonymously because I don't want anyone to link back to mine. I want to sound off about my life, but I really don't want anyone I know personally to read about it and become upset. It's mine. It's all my perception. Personal. It's all my interpretations. Mine. Obviously, everyone else will have their own perceptions and interpretations which would likely oppose everything I've written. Let them have their blog.

Today, I'm feeling brave. I've changed my settings to follow other blogs publicly now because I don't care if someone reads and writes to me anymore. Well, at least not for tonite. For tonite, a baby step towards becoming a more searchable blog.

I don't Facebook much these days. Too depressing. I don't want to read about everyone else's frustrations and misery. I'm too consumed with my own. <wink>

*

Highlights of my day: 

I've discovered some a-mazing websites to use with our homeschooling, and I am freakin' excited about them! One of the sites (All In One Homeschooling) includes an entire (free) curriculum for all grades along with links to other useful sites (like XtraMath)! While I don't plan to follow their curriculum (we have our own), it's a wonderful resource!

<sigh> 

I am so happy when I've got my movie on in the background. Yes, I have Eat, Pray, Love on again. If only I could live that movie... <sigh again>

My beautiful daughter

lil' piece of virtual space

I like buying web addresses. I've never done anything with one - but I love buying them. (:

Several years back, I purchased:

beyondthebow.com

barefootposse.com

pseudomexicana.com

hoboandco.com

and today, I purchased consequentlyme.net

Would be kinda interesting to actually do something with one of them one day

I woke to prayer this morning. I haven't talked to Him in a long time. ....I miss it.

The hub and I are about to go for a movie date - Django.

Aaron: opportunity knocks

10:00 a.m.

Aaron walks proudly into my room. He's barefoot, shirtless, and sporting nice designer blue jeans. His beautiful curly locks are tousled into a bedhead fro that I am completely in love with. He is so beautiful.

"Guess who just called me."

His grin is smirkish and I'm trying to imagine who's call could result in this reaction - WoodGroup?

"WoodGroup", he seems to bouncing off the walls inside his head but doing everything he can to keep his composure.

"That speaks real highly of you, ya know. Lay-offs happen all the time - they aren't always personal. That they want to bring you back, speaks very highly of you."

He starts feeding me more details of he conversation as if he's mulling it over out loud. It appears he's ready to go back to work and bring in the big money again.

I assure him, "If they like you this much Aaron, you likely have a (promotable) future with them too. But you can always take your college classes online."

"Yeah" he responds.

He continues to calculate things out and mentions finding his old WoodGroup uniforms.

I'm also on Cloud-9 - not just because I'm happy for him and proud of him (and I am - extremely!), but because as soon as he got off that phone call - he came to tell his momma. I live for those little moments of acknowledgement too.

Today, is Aaron's day! I'm so happy for him! (:

Enchiladas!

No, this is not becoming a cooking blog! I used to sort of cook, way back in the day when I didn't have to work and I could stay home with the kids all the time. Once I started working again, I just didn't have the energy to cook and clean so much - so it became a rare occasion when either Roy or I would prepare a meal at home. 

(The rule in our home is: Who ever cooks - cleans too! Sounds ridiculously unfair, I'm aware. But the rationale behind it is this: I am a clean cooker. I cook and clean up most of the mess as I go. I like it that way. Saves my sanity somewhat. Roy, however... he makes a complete mess of everything when he cooks. Grease is splattered from one end of the counter to the other. Dishes are piled in the sink and counter top (dishes that he didn't even need to use are dirtied!) Consequently, my "rule" was implemented - and I think it's fair.)

Today, I made enchiladas.  Corey was down and we had the nephews, Collin and Cameron, over again - so a house full. The plan was for 100 enchiladas, but I didn't get enough cheese so it was likely closer to 70.  

My enchiladas cater to picky eaters. There are no surprise green things or red things in them. They have plenty of flavor from the taco seasoning and enchilada sauce. And they are "kid friendly"! I made these for a Mexican-themed dish during Christmas one year at my sister's. My sister had also made her enchiladas (which were much more "white" and included "colorful" surprises (like those red and green things I was talking about, lol - I'm a little bit o' crazy, I know). I was so proud because my enchiladas were the first to be finished by adults and kids alike.

Okay, so here we go...

I started with about 10 pounds of meat (93% lean / 7% fat) and seasoning (I use 3 packs of the McCormick original Taco seasoning). 

Corn tortillas of choice, but the store was out so I opted for the store brand.

Started getting the cornbread prepared to throw in the oven when ready 

(so I won't have to stop in the middle of enchilada preparation later).

I made four boxes of Jiffy corn muffin just as the box instructs 

except I add a shitload of sugar 

(it sweetens it up and my kids and nephews love it!) 

Specifically I add about 3/4 cup of sugar per box.

The family's yum yum beans of choice 

(I don't eat beans - I'm picky like that).

After meat is cooked, 

turn off the heat and cover while we prepare the other ingredients.

I shred 2 large packages of the Velveeta shown above, 

but as I said early, I was short. So, likely should have gotten three.

My enchilada sauce comes from a can. 

I do not make anything from complete scratch

so this meal is much like my family

1/2 Mexican and 1/2 Anglo.

I used 11 cans this time but, in hindsight, 8 cans would have been more than plenty.

Pour the sauce into a large pan along with about two or three cups of water, 

then bring to high heat.

Throw your tortilla into the sauce to soften. 

Careful, not too long or they will fall apart.

Lose a 3 or 4 this way and you'll quickly learn just how 

long to leave them in the sauce to soften.

Lay your softened tortilla in the pan.....

...enter meat...

I usually make a couple of pans of meat enchiladas and a couple of pans of cheese enchiladas.

I don't like them too meaty - so just enough for some protein and taste, 

then add cheese...

While it doesn't look like it here, I do love them cheesey. 

But, unless I know that I've got plenty of cheese on hand, 

I'll go skimpy on the inside of the enchilada and then,

 when putting final touches on the outside, 

I'll load what's left of the cheese on top. 

Roll it up and repeat...

Top with more cheese, meat, and sauce.

(I actually added a lot more cheese and sauce to it after I took this picture. 

The more cheese and sauce - the better.) 

Stick it in the oven until the cheese is melted....

Then dig in!

My enchiladas are really simple to make - just time consuming - so I make a bunch! This batch made 4 large pans (apprx 70). It fed 5 adults (well, 8 adults because we took some plates for Roy's parents and uncle), and 4 children (ages 9-15). And! I had a tray left over for the following day! I suppose if I am going to spend on my feet make on a dish - I'm going to want to eat it again the next day (rather than cooking again).  Speaking of time, I began at 10:00a and was finally finished by 12:30 or 1:00p.

Monday - carne guisada in the crockpot!

Another day in paradise

Monday is a holiday - Martin Luther King day. The office will be closed and I must say, I never tire of a long weekend. Last weekend we let the cousins know that we were not going to have anyone over to the house (instead, we planned a family focused weekend). They'd been coming over every single weekend for months and I think we were all a little exhausted with entertaining - even the kids. For our weekend, we didn't do anything special really, just hung out together, relaxed, and went to the movie show to see "The Guardians". To my amazement the house did not become a complete disaster area (unlike those weekends that we have the cousins over). It was all really nice and we enjoyed it. This weekend, however, the kids will likely start trickling over Friday evening and stay until late Monday. 

Corey says that Miranda has a doctors appointment on Friday morning so they'll be heading this way. He'll be strolling in Thursday evening sometime. Miranda never stays with us. After all the past drama, and with their relationship hanging by a thread these days, I suppose they just prefer it this way. I do - I prefer to just be "out of it" until they get things figured out for themselves.

Aaron and Jr are still just hanging out. Not working. Not going to college. Just playing games. I'm looking forward to our home renovations and using that time to rearrange our living situation (making them a little more uncomfortable). 

I've piled a lot of work on the kids tonight. I've felt with all the holidays, they've had plenty of time off and getting back into the swing of things has been slow-going. So, this is the repercussions.

Today is day three that Roy has fallen flat on his New Year's resolutions. Sucks. I was really enjoying the change, but I should have known that it wouldn't last too. As Mr. Shakespeare put it, "Expectation is the root of all heartache" and so, it seems, the abandonment of our New Year's Resolutions seem set the stage.

I'm making enchiladas this weekend! One hundred of them! Because I know we'll have a full-house (plan to take some plates to Roy's parents and my mom as well.

I haven't heard the squirrels much lately. Wonder if they've moved on... ?

The secret to choosing the freshest bread!

Bread is delivered to the grocery stores five days a week: Monday Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. After baking, the bread maker puts a colored tie to hold the plastic bagging closed. A different colored tie is used to designate which day of the week the bread was baked:

Monday - Blue

Tuesday - Green

Thursday - Red

Friday - White

Saturday - Yellow 

I've known this for a while but I can never remember which color is for which day, so I'm posting this as a reminder to me.

Mom: Investments for the future

Last Sunday, I went to mom's to work on the books for the apartments. She has owned a couple of four-plex apartment for many years, and several months back I mentioned my interest in them. She talks a lot these days about her passing and she's preparing - trying to prepare.

If you recall, she had her second cancer scare and she's had other health issues since. She has given me medical power of attorney and, therefore, keeps me specifically informed on her health conditions and desires. She has also begun teaching me how to handle the apartments. There's a lot to learn but I'm not too worried as I'm certain we still have plenty of time for training.

Today, as we wrapped things up she announced that she wanted me to cut three checks; one for me, and one for each of my sisters. This money would be an equal division of a profit left in one of the accounts.  We each received $500.00. I couldn't cut the checks. I realize that my mother has plenty of money to live off of and this money is not going to break her bank - she has always been extremely thrifty with her budget, income, and investments, but it is still hard for me to accept money from her. After begging her to think it over for another week, she insists that she'd thought about it plenty and wanted her heirs to understand the profit in the apartments. In actuality the apartments reap a much larger profit than this (and even more so in the future) but she keeps several accounts and this is a small chunk of what we would receive from profits later. But I don't like to talk about this sort of thing with her (even though I know that we need to), and I don't like to dwell on the idea of her passing over.

She cut the checks. I assure her that I would be doing nothing with it for some time, and that when I do decide to cash it, I would like to invest it wisely for my retirement. She advised me of investment options of her preference.

*

I sometimes wonder what it's like getting old; so old that your body fails you, and your mind fails you. And the kids quit coming by to visit because they've got too much going on of their own. I suppose there are so many mentalities that everyone handles getting old differently. I'd like to think that I won't be afraid or worried of getting closer to death; rather, it will be a spiritual time and that maybe I will spend my days meditating and blogging my thoughts...

Aaron: His two cents on the living situation

Sitting in the family room with Wolfie, Drew, and Aaron the conversation of the house remodel comes up. I seize the opportunity to plant a seed with Aaron, "...and we'll be remodeling the garage into a bedroom for you and Jr." I think he's known it was coming as his retort was ready with challenge in tow, "I'm not going anywhere without a fight and no one in this house can 'take' me!" (He's been working out - so, he is right...) 

He offers his suggestion: Wolfie can have the remodeled garage, Jr can move back into the sunroom, Drew can have her bedroom back, and he gets to stay right where he is until he's FIFTY years old! We laugh. He's serious, but trying to downplay it with a light-humor (very light).

I ask Wolfie if he would be interested in the remodeled garage and he replies that he doesn't care "...as long as I get my own room." So I assure him, "If you end up in the remodeled garage, I'll get you a big flat-screen tv to go with it!" Sold!

Still, I'm leaning towards putting Jr in with Aaron. They can share! They need to be inconvenienced! And if they would both just go get a damned job then they wouldn't be home in their little, shared miserable bedroom! (evil laugh)

He's STILL talking to her! Really!? Seriously!? ugh!

I was paying the cellphone bills and checked in on the usage. Damn it. He's still talking to Paige. How did that happen? What's worse is that it is very apparent that it is he who is pursuing her (he always makes it seem the other way around). The bill details show that he is making call after call after call to her until he finally talks to her. A conversation can last anywhere from 2 to 12 minutes - and then his obsessive attempts begin again.

This is far from healthy behavior and, I'm seriously worried for him. This is the same obsessive behavior that was reported to me by Danielle's friend (Danielle was his first girlfriend).

I pulled up to the house at lunch a few days later and caught him in his truck, door open, finishing a smoke. I walked around to seize the moment. "Well, well, well..."

"What?" he responds flatly.

I informed him that I knew he was talking to her and asked what's up with that. He says he doesn't know (as if he doesn't understand either). He has no explanation and tries to convince me that they only talk on and off, whenever she feels like she's missing him. However, I know better.

I assure him, "You don't have to tell me what you think I want to hear..." and then simply change the subject. 

Later, I recall our conversation when he'd last called it off between them - he had given me specific instruction that if he tries to make-up with her that I am to intervene - but, I'm afraid I know what to expect as a response from him today, in his "renewed" frame of mind. I don't think he's still on-board with that intervention.

This man returned from serving two tours - one in Iraq and the other in Afghanistan - and they were very traumatic. He experienced some rough stuff and he had more than his share of close calls. He came home a little more than a year ago and the only thing he's done is sit behind the closed door of a borrowed bedroom and play x-box games, and gives one excuse after another as to why he isn't working or going to college (usually he blames Paige). I wonder if he thinks we are actually buying into these excuses.

What's worse to me than his continued conversing with Paige is that he continues to sit behind his closed bedroom door day after day after day after... I think, that if he would just get out and get a job, it would not only bring in some income for him (so he can continue to pay his bills), but he would also feel better about himself and his future, and he would get some (hopefully, healthy) socialization in. It's a win-win really.

At this point, Roy and I are simply enablers. We are being put in a position where we are going to have no other alternative except to exert some tough love. Why? Why? Why can't he take the initiative and get his life back on track? 

He is so (academically) smart and he is such an old soul. He truly contemplates things on a thoughtful, soulful level. 

What to do...?

What to do...?

One thing is certain - doing nothing is becoming less of an option. I have plans this year for the home and I refuse to watch this truly amazing person sit behind that damned door and waste time.

Tough love always means that heads are going to roll - unfortunately. And I better not get my life threatened again but an un-involved, knows-nothing, good-for-nothing at all, gang-wielding absent parent!

Ashtyn's 1st Christmas Pictures

I promised pictures! She's so adorable and I thought, considering all the "crazy" people around her, they came out really good. I actually had so many good shots that it was hard to narrow them down. 

I adore her smile!

This one is a little grainy but I think that as long as it's not enlarged to big, it's a good shot.

I feel so honored to be asked to take these photos and to be a part of Ashtyn's first Christmas memories. :-)

Today's Dinner: Crockpot Balsamic Pulled Apart Roast Beef

Tried my hand at a Pinterest find. This balsamic roast beef is so delicious. After eating our regular, naturally flavoured beef stew - this puts it to shame! I didn't add any carrots or potatoes to this dish today because it was a first attempt (I followed the recipe to the T). Personally, I love Worcestershire sauce and vinegars, so I knew this would be right up my alley. My husband, however, detests vinegar - but he loved this meal!

I feed an "army" (with 7 people in our family and we always have other people over as well), so I tripled the ingredients. I set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. as I was shooting for a meal by lunchtime rather than dinner. It took me about 30 minutes to prepare everything and get it in the crock. I set my heat to start at 225° and at about 9:30a I turned it up to 350° and left it to cook until 1:00p.

As I was experimenting, I got three different boneless roasts. A regular cut, a rump cut, and a shoulder cut. By 1:00, they were all tender and falling apart (I could, literally, cut them with a spoon)! The shoulder cut shrank a lot, so I wouldn't recommend this cut. The rump really didn't have much fat on it and might have been a little drier than the regular cut, but I pulled them both apart and mixed them together (see above pic). It was perfect!

I noticed in the comment section on the website that I obtained this recipe (link provided after the recipe below) that a couple of people had asked what kind or brand vinegar to use with this recipe and I didn't see a response to the question - so below is a photo of what I used.

When I first mixed everything and began to heat, I could smell each of the ingredients (the vinegar, Worcestershire, soy sauce, and honey) all warming and I enjoyed it. By the time it was ready to dig into, the ingredients had mingled nicely and no single ingredient was seriously overpowering. The taste is a savory tangy flavour that even my young picky-eaters enjoyed.

I prepared mashed potatoes as a side dish and used some of the broth to create a gravy. (1 cup of broth, 1 cup of water, and about 1/2 cup of flour. Stir quickly and constantly over heat until it is blended and the texture is consistent. I actually remove from heat until blended somewhat and then return to heat until ready.) I, myself, do not eat mashed potatoes (the rest of the family does), and my husband enjoyed the gravy so much that on his second plate he covered everything with it. 

So, I don't think I'll ever make my regular roast beef stew the "old" way again. These ingredients have now become a must!

Balsamic Roast Beef Recipe

(Prep time: 5 mins | Cook time: 4 hours | Total time: 4 hours 5 mins)

Serves: 6-8

Ingredients

• 1 3-4 pound boneless roast beef (chuck or round roast)
• 1 cup beef broth
• ½ cup balsamic vinegar
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 tablespoon soy sauce
• 1 tablespoon honey
• ½ teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 4 cloves garlic, chopped

Instructions

1. Pour broth into slow cooker. Peel garlic cloves and chop finely, then add to broth. Add the vinegar, Worcestershire, soy sauce, honey, and crushed red pepper to broth. Turn on the heat on low (about 225°) and stir until well blended. Place roast beef into the slow cooker and spoon broth over the top of the roast. Set the timer for 4 hours. Spoon more broth over the top of the roasts, turn up the heat to 350° and cook for an additional 3 ½ hours.
   
   
2. Once roast beef has cooked, remove from slow cooker with tongs into a serving dish. By now, it should be very tender and falling apart easily. Break apart with two forks and then ladle about ½ cup of the broth over roast beef.

Note: If you prefer a more pronounced flavor, once the roast beef has been removed, use a fat separator on the gravy and then pour the gravy into a saucepan over medium heat. Simmer until the gravy has reduced by half.  

CREDIT: I found this recipe at Add A Pinch blog!

Some of my favorite psychics

Sylvia Browne


James Van Praagh




John Edward

Infinite Quest (Oct 6, 2010) Part 1


Part 2


Part 3


Part 4


Part 5


Part 6


Part 7

Squirrels in the attic

Grrrrr! We have two squirrels that have decided to take residence in our attic! Every morning at 7:30 (like clockwork!) they wake up and start moving around in the attic directly above my bed and in the wall behind my pillows! She's nesting.

So, I Google it! And basically it suggests (1) close-up the entrance/exit holes, (2) set a trap to be certain the vermin is gone, (3) if you catch the squirrel in the cage, check for suckling nipples. If nipples are obvious, she's got a litter and I'll either need to locate the nest and remove it, or release her to tend to the babies until they are old enough to scuffle around and be caught. If no nipples appear, relocate the little bugger.

It's cold and rainy, and Roy and I wanted to get this matter resolved quickly. I wake stressed every morning as I can here her gnawing and moving things around. Damage! We purchased a large screen and secured it over the vent on the side of the house (this appears to be her entrance). We planned to pretty it up with some trim the following day, but instead we found they had gnawed two large holes through the screen!! Squirrels - 2 | Home owners - 0

*

While I've been on holiday from work, I've returned to cooking for my family. I am truly enjoying the new, bigger crockpot I received as a Christmas gift from Wolfie and Drew! Beef stew the first day, a shrimp boil another day, and now carne guisada! TEN pounds of beef tips and everyone enjoyed it a lot. It's funny how nice the older boys are to me now that I'm feeding them (haha). During the holiday we've had a house full. Besides our own seven family members, we've had 2-3 little cousins staying with us as well. Boys sure do EAT! Leftovers are scarce, but I have managed to pry away a plate from a couple of entrees and drive them over for mom.

For dessert, Drew and I made layered chocolate chip cookie-brownies. A simple creation using a muffin pan and pouring the browning mix in each well, cook for a short time, then add a drop of cookie to the top, finish cooking.

*

For New Year's we planned to go for the get-together at Erica's (as we have been doing every year for several years now). I looked forward to Drew getting to spend more time with Rachael. And while she's gotten to see Rachael for short periods on Thanksgiving and Christmas, Drew was such a big girl when it was time to leave (holding back her tears), she's been missing her so much! Unfortunately, this year, the get-together was not usual. Brenda decided to stay home this year because of the nasty weather. Mike's sister, Tina, and her family were the only ones from his side to show up. And mom wasn't invited at all. There was another guy, who I'd evidently gone to school with, and his family there - but I honestly had no idea who he was. I spent the evening talking with Erica and this man as if I knew who he was. Agony. We left by 10:30 and without Drew. She was excited to get to spend the night with Rachael. Roy and I returned home vowing that next year, we would plan to do our own thing with our kids and maybe (possibly, hopefully) their significant others. (We will see...) Anyway, initially this year, Roy and I had wanted to take our family to San Antonio, get hotel rooms, and go out to eat at Big Lou's Pizza, watch the fireworks up there; however, after over-spending on Christmas, we couldn't. I think the boys were actually looking forward to it too. (Kinda disappointing...) So, next year, for New Year's Eve, we'll budget for this. 

As it turned out, the boys, along with one of Wolfie's cousins, stayed home all night playing internet games with each other on their computers. It's funny to see five people, each on their own computer, but all playing interactive games with each other. It was nice to have them home safe rather than out running around on this wet, cold holiday.

Later, I mentioned to the boys how the get-together at Erica's had gone, as well as how mom (Mema) had not been invited. (She probably would not have gone because of the weather any how. And with the turn out at Erica's she probably would not have been too interested either. In the past, she's always gone for a short time - she enjoys seeing her kids and grandkids.) Aaron responded, "if my kids do that to me, I'll punch 'em in the face!" Everyone laughed. He followed, "they'll probably call CPS..." and I replied, "Well, CPS would find out what happened and they'd punch 'em in the face too!" Laughing again. 

My resolutions are: (1) an attitude adjustment. I acknowledge that I have, over the years, become a very angry, bitter person. I don't like who I've become. I'll incorporate a short daily meditation. I want to pay attention to my health (physically and spiritually - especially spiritually), and improve my eating habits; I'd like to do more things for personal enjoyment (feeding my soul) such as, reading and some sort of art projects; drink more water (although, I've doing pretty good on this one already!); and (2) finally begin remodeling my home! I am finally getting that damned Jeep paid off this March and then we'll get to focus on our home projects and new furniture. Can you say - EXCITED!!

Roy is participating with New Year's resolutions too! His is to be better person (happier and more positive); and he wants to work on being more involved with me and the kids and household stuff. I'm loving his resolutions! And he's doing really good at them too.

2013 Resolution: Meditate!

Sometimes I want to run away from my country to some peaceful place in Tibet like on the movie, Eat, Pray, Love. I suppose that I feel no commitment to my country if I'm so willing to relocate to another. But I do appreciate that i am allowed to say so.

I feel so sad that, it seems these days, every where I turn, people are, like me, angry and wallowing in victimness. Ironically, it seems that we victimize ourselves over and over again, rather than being victimized by someone else. Are we raising a society of victims who are raising a society victims. It seems hopelessly endless.

How ever can we hope for a world of peace when we are all more focused on grief, victimization, frustration, anger, and retaliation. And then raising our children to do the same?

Mother Theresa said, "Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest you." So, I am I'm starting with me. My 2013 New Year's Resolution: be better.

1. Incorporate meditation:

(CREDIT: much of the following was cut and pasted from The Conscious Life website)

How to Meditate

Choose a conducive environment. Find a nice, quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for fifteen minutes or longer. Sit down, relax and rest your hands on your lap. You can sit on the floor cross-legged with the support of a meditation cushion, or on any chair with your feet resting on the ground. It’s not necessary to force yourself into a lotus position if you’re not used to it.

Regardless of how you sit, it’s important to maintain the natural curve of your back. That means, no slouching. People with chronic back problem who can’t sit for prolonged period of time can explore other meditation positions.

Relax your neck by very gently moving your head in small circles, or backwards and forwards and from side to side. Lower your shoulders or roll them a few times, if they are tight. Ground your body. Shift your weight if necessary to become more comfortable. Stretch out your legs if you want to and then align them again. Now relax... your belly, thighs, knees, calves, ankles and feet.

Breathe slowly and deeply. Close your eyes softly. Begin by taking a few slow and deep breaths — inhaling with your nose and exhaling from your mouth. Don’t force your breathing. Let it come naturally. The first few intakes of air are likely to be shallow, but as you allow more air to fill your lungs each time, your breaths will gradually become deeper and fuller. Take as long as you need to breathe slowly and deeply.

Breathe mindfully.

Be aware. When you are breathing deeply, you’ll begin to feel calmer and more relaxed. That’s a good sign. Now, focus your attention on your breathing. Be aware of each breath that you take in through your nose. Be mindful of each breath that you exhale with your mouth. Continue focusing on your breaths for as long as you like.

If you find your attention straying away from your breaths, just gently bring it back. It may happen many times. Don’t be disheartened. What’s important is to realize that you’ve wandered and bring your attention back to where it should be. As you develop greater focus power, you will find it easier to concentrate.

Ending the session. When you are ready to end the session, open your eyes and stand up slowly. Stretch yourself and extend your increased awareness to your next activities. Well done! You’ve done it!

Meditation positions:

Meditation Pose 1:
The Astronaut

• 
  I learned this pose from the last mindfulness-based cognitive therapy retreat in May 2011. Basically, it’s an inverted sitting position. But instead of lying your back against a chair, you lie on the floor with your legs supported by a chair. Put a pillow underneath your head to give your head and neck some support. Rest your hands beside you.
  From the picture, it’s not hard to imagine why it’s called the astronaut pose. In this position, it looks like you’re ready to take off for the distant stars! And isn’t that what happen during meditation when thoughts fade in and out of our consciousness like stars in the night sky?

Meditation Pose 2:
The Corpse

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  Although this meditation position may put one to sleep more than other postures, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give it a try. For one, the corpse pose is extremely gentle to the back and is very useful to people who have problem sustaining an upright meditation position. This easy pose is also suited for guided meditation, body scan exercise as well aspure light visualization.
  To assume this pose, simply lie your back against a flat horizontal surface, either on the floor or bed. Rest your hands beside you with palms facing upwards (or downwards if you prefer). Space your feet about shoulder width apart and preferably, take off your shoes and socks. Use a blanket to keep yourself warm whenever necessary.
  Place a pillow under your head to support the neck, and if need be, put one under the knees too to maintain the natural curve of your lower back. You might also try a small, rolled towel under the small of your back for additional support.
  Note: If you find yourself consistently fall asleep after adopting this pose, then it’s probably too comfortable for you. Try another meditation position that will keep you more awake.

Meditation Pose 3:
The Prayer

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  The prayer pose is a variation of the traditional kneeling position. Kneeling unsupported with the buttocks resting on the back of the heels for prolonged period can be uncomfortable and stressful for your feet. So, in this prayer pose, a kneeling bench is used instead.
  Look for a kneeling bench with a padded sloping top (such as this one) which not only makes kneeling more comfortable than an unpadded one, but also helps to tilt your back slightly forward. This will take pressure off your lower spine when you assume the position.
  However, with or without a bench, kneeling can be hard on the knees. Place a cushion or a zabuton between you and the floor to prevent your legs from getting bruised.

Meditation Pose 4:
The Sitting Mountain

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  This is a sitting pose done with the support of a chair. Since we’re talking about postures that are gentle to the back, here are some tips to sit in a more back-friendly way:
  • Adjust the height of the chair so that both of your feet are resting flat on the floor. Use a footstool if necessary.
  • Place a small cushion or a lumbar support behind the curve of your lower back if your chair doesn’t give you adequate support.
  • Lift up your head as if a taut string is attached to it, and tuck your chin in slightly.
  • Keep your upper back and neck comfortably straight.
  • If an upright spine is too painful for you, lift your buttocks higher than your knees with a small cushion so that your pelvis is tilt slightly forward.
  • Keep your shoulders relaxed — not rounded, raised or pulled backward.

Meditation Pose 5:
The Sleeping Buddha

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  Like the corpse pose, this posture is suitable for the ill and frail, as well as those with severe back and joint problems. Healthy practitioners can also adopt this pose to meditate every night before sleep to increase their sleep quality and mindfulness.
  To assume this meditation position, lie on one side of your body on a flat horizontal surface, and place one hand under your cheek. If you’re resting on your left side, use your left hand to cradle your cheek. If it’s the right side you lie on, then use your right hand. As for the other hand, just rest it lightly along the side of the body that is inline with the hand.
  Bend both legs slightly and rest them on top of one another. To prevent the upper leg from sliding forward and causes the lower spine to rotate, you may want to place a pillow between your thighs and knees.
  Your head and neck should be supported by a pillow of an appropriate height so that your spine remains horizontal, and not sliding down (which indicates that the pillow is too soft) or arching up (in this case, the pillow is too hard or too high).
  Once you’re ready, practice breathing meditation the same way you’d do in a sitting position. Focus your attention on your inhales and exhales. Feel the air that is entering and leaving your nostrils. When you realize that your thoughts have wandered to something else other than your breaths, just start again by bringing your attention back to where it should be. Carry on for 15 minutes or more. Then, just allow yourself to fall gently asleep.

Meditation Pose 6:
The Tree

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  In this pose, you simply stand at ease with one hand resting lightly on top of the other hanging in front of you. Fix your gaze downwards as you mediate on your breaths. Don’t move your body or allow your gaze to waver. Because of its simplicity, you can use this meditation pose almost anywhere: while standing in line, on bus or train, or while waiting for someone to turn up. You’ll find yourself a lot less anxious and even begin to enjoy these waiting moments that often drive people crazy.

An interesting website for additional meditation information is Buzzle.

Because I'll be meditating at home and there is always distracting noise around here, I opt to plug my into some relaxing meditation music to help start me on this journey.

Sound healing - Meditation Music (Delta Waves)

Paul Collier piano solo w/nature - 15 min.

Inner Peace w/nature sounds - 15 min.

Chanting of Om meditation music - 15 min.