He's STILL talking to her! Really!? Seriously!? ugh!

I was paying the cellphone bills and checked in on the usage. Damn it. He's still talking to Paige. How did that happen? What's worse is that it is very apparent that it is he who is pursuing her (he always makes it seem the other way around). The bill details show that he is making call after call after call to her until he finally talks to her. A conversation can last anywhere from 2 to 12 minutes - and then his obsessive attempts begin again.

This is far from healthy behavior and, I'm seriously worried for him. This is the same obsessive behavior that was reported to me by Danielle's friend (Danielle was his first girlfriend).

I pulled up to the house at lunch a few days later and caught him in his truck, door open, finishing a smoke. I walked around to seize the moment. "Well, well, well..."

"What?" he responds flatly.

I informed him that I knew he was talking to her and asked what's up with that. He says he doesn't know (as if he doesn't understand either). He has no explanation and tries to convince me that they only talk on and off, whenever she feels like she's missing him. However, I know better.

I assure him, "You don't have to tell me what you think I want to hear..." and then simply change the subject. 

Later, I recall our conversation when he'd last called it off between them - he had given me specific instruction that if he tries to make-up with her that I am to intervene - but, I'm afraid I know what to expect as a response from him today, in his "renewed" frame of mind. I don't think he's still on-board with that intervention.

This man returned from serving two tours - one in Iraq and the other in Afghanistan - and they were very traumatic. He experienced some rough stuff and he had more than his share of close calls. He came home a little more than a year ago and the only thing he's done is sit behind the closed door of a borrowed bedroom and play x-box games, and gives one excuse after another as to why he isn't working or going to college (usually he blames Paige). I wonder if he thinks we are actually buying into these excuses.

What's worse to me than his continued conversing with Paige is that he continues to sit behind his closed bedroom door day after day after day after... I think, that if he would just get out and get a job, it would not only bring in some income for him (so he can continue to pay his bills), but he would also feel better about himself and his future, and he would get some (hopefully, healthy) socialization in. It's a win-win really.

At this point, Roy and I are simply enablers. We are being put in a position where we are going to have no other alternative except to exert some tough love. Why? Why? Why can't he take the initiative and get his life back on track? 

He is so (academically) smart and he is such an old soul. He truly contemplates things on a thoughtful, soulful level. 

What to do...?

What to do...?

One thing is certain - doing nothing is becoming less of an option. I have plans this year for the home and I refuse to watch this truly amazing person sit behind that damned door and waste time.

Tough love always means that heads are going to roll - unfortunately. And I better not get my life threatened again but an un-involved, knows-nothing, good-for-nothing at all, gang-wielding absent parent!

Ashtyn's 1st Christmas Pictures

I promised pictures! She's so adorable and I thought, considering all the "crazy" people around her, they came out really good. I actually had so many good shots that it was hard to narrow them down. 

I adore her smile!

This one is a little grainy but I think that as long as it's not enlarged to big, it's a good shot.

I feel so honored to be asked to take these photos and to be a part of Ashtyn's first Christmas memories. :-)

Today's Dinner: Crockpot Balsamic Pulled Apart Roast Beef

Tried my hand at a Pinterest find. This balsamic roast beef is so delicious. After eating our regular, naturally flavoured beef stew - this puts it to shame! I didn't add any carrots or potatoes to this dish today because it was a first attempt (I followed the recipe to the T). Personally, I love Worcestershire sauce and vinegars, so I knew this would be right up my alley. My husband, however, detests vinegar - but he loved this meal!

I feed an "army" (with 7 people in our family and we always have other people over as well), so I tripled the ingredients. I set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. as I was shooting for a meal by lunchtime rather than dinner. It took me about 30 minutes to prepare everything and get it in the crock. I set my heat to start at 225° and at about 9:30a I turned it up to 350° and left it to cook until 1:00p.

As I was experimenting, I got three different boneless roasts. A regular cut, a rump cut, and a shoulder cut. By 1:00, they were all tender and falling apart (I could, literally, cut them with a spoon)! The shoulder cut shrank a lot, so I wouldn't recommend this cut. The rump really didn't have much fat on it and might have been a little drier than the regular cut, but I pulled them both apart and mixed them together (see above pic). It was perfect!

I noticed in the comment section on the website that I obtained this recipe (link provided after the recipe below) that a couple of people had asked what kind or brand vinegar to use with this recipe and I didn't see a response to the question - so below is a photo of what I used.

When I first mixed everything and began to heat, I could smell each of the ingredients (the vinegar, Worcestershire, soy sauce, and honey) all warming and I enjoyed it. By the time it was ready to dig into, the ingredients had mingled nicely and no single ingredient was seriously overpowering. The taste is a savory tangy flavour that even my young picky-eaters enjoyed.

I prepared mashed potatoes as a side dish and used some of the broth to create a gravy. (1 cup of broth, 1 cup of water, and about 1/2 cup of flour. Stir quickly and constantly over heat until it is blended and the texture is consistent. I actually remove from heat until blended somewhat and then return to heat until ready.) I, myself, do not eat mashed potatoes (the rest of the family does), and my husband enjoyed the gravy so much that on his second plate he covered everything with it. 

So, I don't think I'll ever make my regular roast beef stew the "old" way again. These ingredients have now become a must!

Balsamic Roast Beef Recipe

(Prep time: 5 mins | Cook time: 4 hours | Total time: 4 hours 5 mins)

Serves: 6-8

Ingredients

• 1 3-4 pound boneless roast beef (chuck or round roast)
• 1 cup beef broth
• ½ cup balsamic vinegar
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 tablespoon soy sauce
• 1 tablespoon honey
• ½ teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 4 cloves garlic, chopped

Instructions

1. Pour broth into slow cooker. Peel garlic cloves and chop finely, then add to broth. Add the vinegar, Worcestershire, soy sauce, honey, and crushed red pepper to broth. Turn on the heat on low (about 225°) and stir until well blended. Place roast beef into the slow cooker and spoon broth over the top of the roast. Set the timer for 4 hours. Spoon more broth over the top of the roasts, turn up the heat to 350° and cook for an additional 3 ½ hours.
   
   
2. Once roast beef has cooked, remove from slow cooker with tongs into a serving dish. By now, it should be very tender and falling apart easily. Break apart with two forks and then ladle about ½ cup of the broth over roast beef.

Note: If you prefer a more pronounced flavor, once the roast beef has been removed, use a fat separator on the gravy and then pour the gravy into a saucepan over medium heat. Simmer until the gravy has reduced by half.  

CREDIT: I found this recipe at Add A Pinch blog!

Some of my favorite psychics

Sylvia Browne


James Van Praagh




John Edward

Infinite Quest (Oct 6, 2010) Part 1


Part 2


Part 3


Part 4


Part 5


Part 6


Part 7

Squirrels in the attic

Grrrrr! We have two squirrels that have decided to take residence in our attic! Every morning at 7:30 (like clockwork!) they wake up and start moving around in the attic directly above my bed and in the wall behind my pillows! She's nesting.

So, I Google it! And basically it suggests (1) close-up the entrance/exit holes, (2) set a trap to be certain the vermin is gone, (3) if you catch the squirrel in the cage, check for suckling nipples. If nipples are obvious, she's got a litter and I'll either need to locate the nest and remove it, or release her to tend to the babies until they are old enough to scuffle around and be caught. If no nipples appear, relocate the little bugger.

It's cold and rainy, and Roy and I wanted to get this matter resolved quickly. I wake stressed every morning as I can here her gnawing and moving things around. Damage! We purchased a large screen and secured it over the vent on the side of the house (this appears to be her entrance). We planned to pretty it up with some trim the following day, but instead we found they had gnawed two large holes through the screen!! Squirrels - 2 | Home owners - 0

*

While I've been on holiday from work, I've returned to cooking for my family. I am truly enjoying the new, bigger crockpot I received as a Christmas gift from Wolfie and Drew! Beef stew the first day, a shrimp boil another day, and now carne guisada! TEN pounds of beef tips and everyone enjoyed it a lot. It's funny how nice the older boys are to me now that I'm feeding them (haha). During the holiday we've had a house full. Besides our own seven family members, we've had 2-3 little cousins staying with us as well. Boys sure do EAT! Leftovers are scarce, but I have managed to pry away a plate from a couple of entrees and drive them over for mom.

For dessert, Drew and I made layered chocolate chip cookie-brownies. A simple creation using a muffin pan and pouring the browning mix in each well, cook for a short time, then add a drop of cookie to the top, finish cooking.

*

For New Year's we planned to go for the get-together at Erica's (as we have been doing every year for several years now). I looked forward to Drew getting to spend more time with Rachael. And while she's gotten to see Rachael for short periods on Thanksgiving and Christmas, Drew was such a big girl when it was time to leave (holding back her tears), she's been missing her so much! Unfortunately, this year, the get-together was not usual. Brenda decided to stay home this year because of the nasty weather. Mike's sister, Tina, and her family were the only ones from his side to show up. And mom wasn't invited at all. There was another guy, who I'd evidently gone to school with, and his family there - but I honestly had no idea who he was. I spent the evening talking with Erica and this man as if I knew who he was. Agony. We left by 10:30 and without Drew. She was excited to get to spend the night with Rachael. Roy and I returned home vowing that next year, we would plan to do our own thing with our kids and maybe (possibly, hopefully) their significant others. (We will see...) Anyway, initially this year, Roy and I had wanted to take our family to San Antonio, get hotel rooms, and go out to eat at Big Lou's Pizza, watch the fireworks up there; however, after over-spending on Christmas, we couldn't. I think the boys were actually looking forward to it too. (Kinda disappointing...) So, next year, for New Year's Eve, we'll budget for this. 

As it turned out, the boys, along with one of Wolfie's cousins, stayed home all night playing internet games with each other on their computers. It's funny to see five people, each on their own computer, but all playing interactive games with each other. It was nice to have them home safe rather than out running around on this wet, cold holiday.

Later, I mentioned to the boys how the get-together at Erica's had gone, as well as how mom (Mema) had not been invited. (She probably would not have gone because of the weather any how. And with the turn out at Erica's she probably would not have been too interested either. In the past, she's always gone for a short time - she enjoys seeing her kids and grandkids.) Aaron responded, "if my kids do that to me, I'll punch 'em in the face!" Everyone laughed. He followed, "they'll probably call CPS..." and I replied, "Well, CPS would find out what happened and they'd punch 'em in the face too!" Laughing again. 

My resolutions are: (1) an attitude adjustment. I acknowledge that I have, over the years, become a very angry, bitter person. I don't like who I've become. I'll incorporate a short daily meditation. I want to pay attention to my health (physically and spiritually - especially spiritually), and improve my eating habits; I'd like to do more things for personal enjoyment (feeding my soul) such as, reading and some sort of art projects; drink more water (although, I've doing pretty good on this one already!); and (2) finally begin remodeling my home! I am finally getting that damned Jeep paid off this March and then we'll get to focus on our home projects and new furniture. Can you say - EXCITED!!

Roy is participating with New Year's resolutions too! His is to be better person (happier and more positive); and he wants to work on being more involved with me and the kids and household stuff. I'm loving his resolutions! And he's doing really good at them too.

2013 Resolution: Meditate!

Sometimes I want to run away from my country to some peaceful place in Tibet like on the movie, Eat, Pray, Love. I suppose that I feel no commitment to my country if I'm so willing to relocate to another. But I do appreciate that i am allowed to say so.

I feel so sad that, it seems these days, every where I turn, people are, like me, angry and wallowing in victimness. Ironically, it seems that we victimize ourselves over and over again, rather than being victimized by someone else. Are we raising a society of victims who are raising a society victims. It seems hopelessly endless.

How ever can we hope for a world of peace when we are all more focused on grief, victimization, frustration, anger, and retaliation. And then raising our children to do the same?

Mother Theresa said, "Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest you." So, I am I'm starting with me. My 2013 New Year's Resolution: be better.

1. Incorporate meditation:

(CREDIT: much of the following was cut and pasted from The Conscious Life website)

How to Meditate

Choose a conducive environment. Find a nice, quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for fifteen minutes or longer. Sit down, relax and rest your hands on your lap. You can sit on the floor cross-legged with the support of a meditation cushion, or on any chair with your feet resting on the ground. It’s not necessary to force yourself into a lotus position if you’re not used to it.

Regardless of how you sit, it’s important to maintain the natural curve of your back. That means, no slouching. People with chronic back problem who can’t sit for prolonged period of time can explore other meditation positions.

Relax your neck by very gently moving your head in small circles, or backwards and forwards and from side to side. Lower your shoulders or roll them a few times, if they are tight. Ground your body. Shift your weight if necessary to become more comfortable. Stretch out your legs if you want to and then align them again. Now relax... your belly, thighs, knees, calves, ankles and feet.

Breathe slowly and deeply. Close your eyes softly. Begin by taking a few slow and deep breaths — inhaling with your nose and exhaling from your mouth. Don’t force your breathing. Let it come naturally. The first few intakes of air are likely to be shallow, but as you allow more air to fill your lungs each time, your breaths will gradually become deeper and fuller. Take as long as you need to breathe slowly and deeply.

Breathe mindfully.

Be aware. When you are breathing deeply, you’ll begin to feel calmer and more relaxed. That’s a good sign. Now, focus your attention on your breathing. Be aware of each breath that you take in through your nose. Be mindful of each breath that you exhale with your mouth. Continue focusing on your breaths for as long as you like.

If you find your attention straying away from your breaths, just gently bring it back. It may happen many times. Don’t be disheartened. What’s important is to realize that you’ve wandered and bring your attention back to where it should be. As you develop greater focus power, you will find it easier to concentrate.

Ending the session. When you are ready to end the session, open your eyes and stand up slowly. Stretch yourself and extend your increased awareness to your next activities. Well done! You’ve done it!

Meditation positions:

Meditation Pose 1:
The Astronaut

• 
  I learned this pose from the last mindfulness-based cognitive therapy retreat in May 2011. Basically, it’s an inverted sitting position. But instead of lying your back against a chair, you lie on the floor with your legs supported by a chair. Put a pillow underneath your head to give your head and neck some support. Rest your hands beside you.
  From the picture, it’s not hard to imagine why it’s called the astronaut pose. In this position, it looks like you’re ready to take off for the distant stars! And isn’t that what happen during meditation when thoughts fade in and out of our consciousness like stars in the night sky?

Meditation Pose 2:
The Corpse

• 
  Although this meditation position may put one to sleep more than other postures, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give it a try. For one, the corpse pose is extremely gentle to the back and is very useful to people who have problem sustaining an upright meditation position. This easy pose is also suited for guided meditation, body scan exercise as well aspure light visualization.
  To assume this pose, simply lie your back against a flat horizontal surface, either on the floor or bed. Rest your hands beside you with palms facing upwards (or downwards if you prefer). Space your feet about shoulder width apart and preferably, take off your shoes and socks. Use a blanket to keep yourself warm whenever necessary.
  Place a pillow under your head to support the neck, and if need be, put one under the knees too to maintain the natural curve of your lower back. You might also try a small, rolled towel under the small of your back for additional support.
  Note: If you find yourself consistently fall asleep after adopting this pose, then it’s probably too comfortable for you. Try another meditation position that will keep you more awake.

Meditation Pose 3:
The Prayer

• 
  The prayer pose is a variation of the traditional kneeling position. Kneeling unsupported with the buttocks resting on the back of the heels for prolonged period can be uncomfortable and stressful for your feet. So, in this prayer pose, a kneeling bench is used instead.
  Look for a kneeling bench with a padded sloping top (such as this one) which not only makes kneeling more comfortable than an unpadded one, but also helps to tilt your back slightly forward. This will take pressure off your lower spine when you assume the position.
  However, with or without a bench, kneeling can be hard on the knees. Place a cushion or a zabuton between you and the floor to prevent your legs from getting bruised.

Meditation Pose 4:
The Sitting Mountain

• 
  This is a sitting pose done with the support of a chair. Since we’re talking about postures that are gentle to the back, here are some tips to sit in a more back-friendly way:
  • Adjust the height of the chair so that both of your feet are resting flat on the floor. Use a footstool if necessary.
  • Place a small cushion or a lumbar support behind the curve of your lower back if your chair doesn’t give you adequate support.
  • Lift up your head as if a taut string is attached to it, and tuck your chin in slightly.
  • Keep your upper back and neck comfortably straight.
  • If an upright spine is too painful for you, lift your buttocks higher than your knees with a small cushion so that your pelvis is tilt slightly forward.
  • Keep your shoulders relaxed — not rounded, raised or pulled backward.

Meditation Pose 5:
The Sleeping Buddha

• 
  Like the corpse pose, this posture is suitable for the ill and frail, as well as those with severe back and joint problems. Healthy practitioners can also adopt this pose to meditate every night before sleep to increase their sleep quality and mindfulness.
  To assume this meditation position, lie on one side of your body on a flat horizontal surface, and place one hand under your cheek. If you’re resting on your left side, use your left hand to cradle your cheek. If it’s the right side you lie on, then use your right hand. As for the other hand, just rest it lightly along the side of the body that is inline with the hand.
  Bend both legs slightly and rest them on top of one another. To prevent the upper leg from sliding forward and causes the lower spine to rotate, you may want to place a pillow between your thighs and knees.
  Your head and neck should be supported by a pillow of an appropriate height so that your spine remains horizontal, and not sliding down (which indicates that the pillow is too soft) or arching up (in this case, the pillow is too hard or too high).
  Once you’re ready, practice breathing meditation the same way you’d do in a sitting position. Focus your attention on your inhales and exhales. Feel the air that is entering and leaving your nostrils. When you realize that your thoughts have wandered to something else other than your breaths, just start again by bringing your attention back to where it should be. Carry on for 15 minutes or more. Then, just allow yourself to fall gently asleep.

Meditation Pose 6:
The Tree

• 
  In this pose, you simply stand at ease with one hand resting lightly on top of the other hanging in front of you. Fix your gaze downwards as you mediate on your breaths. Don’t move your body or allow your gaze to waver. Because of its simplicity, you can use this meditation pose almost anywhere: while standing in line, on bus or train, or while waiting for someone to turn up. You’ll find yourself a lot less anxious and even begin to enjoy these waiting moments that often drive people crazy.

An interesting website for additional meditation information is Buzzle.

Because I'll be meditating at home and there is always distracting noise around here, I opt to plug my into some relaxing meditation music to help start me on this journey.

Sound healing - Meditation Music (Delta Waves)

Paul Collier piano solo w/nature - 15 min.

Inner Peace w/nature sounds - 15 min.

Chanting of Om meditation music - 15 min.

Fast asleep next to the meat

I'd just picked her up from my sister's (she got to spend the night with her cousin and they obviously had a lot of fun) and she literally fell fast asleep like this.

It's carne guisada day!

I can't explain him...

My husband says "fuck" and "shit" in front of our kids but the other day, while he was doing laundry (yes, he does laundry!), he asks me if I'd like my bra put in the drier - only, he spells out the word "bra" because the kids are in the room. How does this make sense please? (lol)

My first photo shoot with Ashtyn

My newest niece, Ashtyn, celebrated her first Christmas this year. We were sitting at Roy's parents and Jamie mentioned that she'd purchased a Christmas dress but never took Ashtyn for a formal photo session. She suggested that I do it and, of course, I'm excited to.

I left my Christmas tree up just for this photo shoot and arranged a small area to try to take pictures. This house is already loaded with people (my seven, and three nephews), so it's quite the mess with mattresses and blankets and Christmas toys all over the place. Just as they showed up for the pictures, Marina stops by to pick up her son and then decides to stay and participate in the photo session too. 

Later, we get Ashtyn in place and everyone is hollaring at her to smile. Poor baby just looks around the room at all the people going nutso. So now we have fourteen people in the house and at least twelve of them are calling for Ashtyn to smile (funny, but ridiculous too). At one point, as I was crouched in front of Ashtyn to take photos, Marina squats beside me to try to make her smile. She's using the fuzzy ball on a Santa hat to tickle her nose, and it'gs working, but Ashtyn is looking at Marina rather than me. I reach for Marina's hand to move her towards me and Marina jerks back as if I was going to take her toy from her. What the...? I explain to Marina that I don't want her Santa hat, but that I'm trying to take pictures and I'd like her to shift only so that Ashtyn is looking at me. She's laughs. (She laughs at everything...) I shift so that I'm hovering over Marina, baby still not looking at me... Gotta love the chaos.

So I'm just shooting away, hoping that I get something good, because in all this craziness it would be a miracle. Then, as if nothing else could go wrong, it does - and my camera starts jamming. The baby smiles, I push the button, and nothing. Again, Ashtyn smiles, I push the button - again, nothing. Grrrr

The final photos coming shortly...

Cake Pop How To

Because we purchased a cake pop cooker and supplies for Drew (yeah, yeah, it was for her!) for Christmas, and because Roy and I have such an interest in opening our own family-run bakery business one day, he and I decided to do a little more research on this topic.

Some of my favorite videos and tips follow!

#1 - You don't even need the fancy-schmancy cooker!

#2 - Don't forget to substitute ingredients when necessary.

#3 - Fill cake batter to the top of the well so that when it expands it fills the top well completely making a well-rounded ball.

(A few of problems I have with this product are: (1) preheating before filling with batter is a must; (2) as soon as you plug in the device, it begins heating up, so everything is hot while you hover over the wells to fill them with batter (making your fingers and arms easily susceptible  to burns); and (3) the entire cooker (inside and out) gets HOT! So, oven mitts are a must!)

(I notice the baker in the above video is not using oven mitts, so either her cooker is not getting hot on the outside (meaning mine may be defective, hmmm), or her hands are used to a little heat and it's not bothering her for the short time she's touching the product.)

#4 - After baking the cake pop (or rolling your cake balls), place on a pan for cooling.

#5 - Refrigeration is key! Place your cake pops on a pan and put in the freezer for no more than 15 minutes and then place in the refrigerator while you prepare the decoration ingredients.



#6 - To "glue" your stick into the cake pop, first dip the stick into the icing and then insert into the cake pop. (I'm not certain yet if the order of operations matters much: whether you should first insert the stick and then chill, or chill and then insert the sticks. hmmm)

My favorite video by far (below) by Bakerella!

Nice blog link here about cake pops and Bakerella too!

#7 - Begin with easy decorating ideas!

Oh my, my, my!! Love this blog with the kids making Oreo cake pops! Drew would love this too!

An interview with Sweet Lauren Cakes and her success story. What an inspiration!

Gwen's Kitchen Creations shares her tips and tricks!

WOW!! I'm ready for our second attempt now! =)

Christmas 2012

WOW! What a truly great Christmas it was this year! While we were a bit over-generous, we were still able to pay our bills - so that's good! (HaHa) We had all the boys home together and its been good. When it turned out that Roy didn't have to work after all, we made a last minute decision to open our gifts on Christmas Eve instead. This was also made possible because I had talked with Wolfie and Drew about who Santa really is and the Spirit of Christmas. (They already had a good idea of this anyhow, I simply confirmed it for them and, as Drew put it, took the fun out of it. Ah well, there was still plenty of fun to be had.) Even more funny, once Jr. and Corey realized the plan and that Aaron had also purchased gifts for everyone, the need to participate sunk in and they made a run for last minute gifts as well. Roy was trying to sleep when the boys bounded into the room to wrap their gifts and their inexperience at wrapping provided a rather comical scene.

When the kids could wait no longer, we gathered in the family room and Drew passed out the gifts. We dug in. Jr, Aaron, Candice, and Corey each received a speaker/alarm clock/charging dock for their iPhones, and I must add the sound is awesome. This was their "big" gift from me and Roy, but we also paid their phone bill for this month and since we do not have Corey's phone on our account we got him a water dispenser with a 5 gallon jug because he seemed so fond of ours. Each of our family members also received a Turvis Tumbler as my last effort to try to keep drinks from being confused and, consequently, wasted. I never thought I would see the day when I spent nearly $200.00 on cups! We included Candice and Miranda in this gift as well, as Candice is family, and Miranda and Corey have been going to counseling for a while now and attempting to work things out. Drew's "big" gift from us would be the cake pop maker supplies. She loves baking cookies and cupcakes, so we thought we'd expand her options a little more. But she did rake in the most gifts (clothes, gold earrings, several game cards, headphones, etc.) as hers are not as pricey as the gifts for the boys. Wolfie's "big" gift would likely be his wireless Turtle Beaches headphones which I better never find left on the floor - or else! But his gifts were all very pricey (xbox Live Points, and Game Points (I don't really understand all of the xbox stuff), a new Minecraft account (as Drew was taking over his old account), clothes, xbox memory card, etc.).

Jr bought Drew a large Lalaloopsy theme park with dolls, and Wolfie a $60.00 gift card to Game Stop (which was perfect for Wolfie because he had it spent as soon as he saw it). Aaron and Candice bought Drew a Disney Kinect Game, Wolfie an xbox game, Jr and Corey each got a Whataburger gift card, I got scented bath and lotion stuff (which smells so good!), and Roy a Dallas Cowboy blanket and Harley Davidson calendar (they know him so well). Corey bought Drew a Barbie movie (which turned out to be one of her favorites), and Wolfie a querty keyboard that attaches to his xbox controls (it's pretty cool!). Wolfie bought Aaron a subscription for a men's workout magazine, and Candice the season 2 dvds of Pretty Little Liars. Drew bought Aaron a headband and non-slip socks (because he is the workout enthusiast), and Candice a pretty black and white floral electric heated blanket (which she adores because her room gets pretty cold at times). Wolfie and Drew went in together (as it was expensive) and purchased the Far Cry xbox game, one for Jr, and one for Corey (this is the game Wolfie bought for himself as well with Jr's gift card).

The only thing lacking from the night was some yummy food. I had bought stuff to make enchiladas but hadn't planned to cook them until after Christmas, and with everything moving so fast on Christmas Eve there was little time to put anything together. But since we enjoyed having our Christmas on it's Eve, we plan to continue the tradition and next year will, hopefully, be planned out better.

The following day we swung by Roy's parents' home first. It was a huge hit this year as the younger children drew names for gift buying which was easier on everyone's pocket book. The adults (who wanted to play) brought a gift for the Elephant Game. We all laughed and had a good time, and even those who didn't play seemed to enjoy it (I'm hoping more will join in next year). Roy and I walked away with a gift card to Spec's Liquor, a gift card to Subway (that came with some holiday kitchen towels). Roy's gift for the game was a huge hit! A unique centerpiece that included beer bottles with the bottoms cut out, small candles placed inside each bottle, and sat in a metal holder. 

From there, we ran over to my sister's home. Aaron was already there, but Jr and Corey stayed at their grandparents.  Aaron doesn't care to visit Roy's parents as they were quite cruel to him when he was younger. Jr and Corey get along with my family but still seem much more comfortable at their grandparents' home. For this reason, and because they are older now and can come and go as they please, we are beginning to go separate directions for holidays. That's okay. This is how we all tend to do as we get older and begin having our own families.

In the past, we normally visit my family first, but as Roy's family began harping on us early to stop at their home first this year, we did. Either way, we had plenty to eat and it was all good. We arrived at Erica's and the kids were ready and waiting to open gifts. I had purchase some turquoise jewelry for my sisters and my eldest niece. Each piece was really pretty and hard to part with, but they enjoyed receiving them too. We sat and visited with everyone for a couple of hours before heading home. And it was a good Christmas day.

*

Roy was hoping to bring the entire family to Big Lou's Pizza in San Antonio this year for New Years, but money is tighter than expected so we likely won't. We've been invited to Erica's New Year's party again (it's become quite the tradition) but our plans remain to be seen. I suspect our nephews, who have stayed with us every weekend for the past two months will likely be over for the New Year too, and Wolfie will want to stay with them. Aaron and Candice will likely be with her parents as they have been doing every year. Corey will likely split to party with his friends, and Jr had talked about going to his old military base to visit friends (I think that would be really good for him).

*

Paige is gone. It's a good thing. It was an extremely unhealthy relationship, and anyone who saw it - knew it. While she left quite a while back, she had still been stringing him along on the phone for some time now. Finally fed up with it, he quit. He posted a rant on Facebook in an effort to finalize the deal for himself, and then he and I stayed up until 6:30 in the morning talking about it. I think he's finally back. He's ready to get on with college and work and life. He seems to have good days and bad days but he has been making good effort to get out and get involved. I'll be more assertive now with my effort to help him get into college. It's important to Jr to have a family. His family will always be his priority. He's so academically smart, and he is really thoughtful in his conversations and concerns. And kids! He is so good with kids! As much as he is worried for his life - he shouldn't be. He just needs to be patient. 

*

Corey seems to be doing really good. I can honestly say that his rebellious nature seems to encourage independence - and that's what I've always wanted for the boys. Independence and stability - but also respectfulness (which he needs to work on some - but don't we all). As I said earlier in this post, he and Miranda have been attending counseling for some 18 weeks now. He says he enjoys it; however, Miranda not so much. He says she walks away from it just more upset and I'm certain that it stems from resisting responsibility for her part of the problems. She's not alone in that; Corey and her father-in-law are the same way. In our conversation, Corey told me, "I'm 19-20. I shouldn't be going through this already." An acknowledgement of maybe regret, but also realization too. He is growing and maturing, and I think the counseling truly is helpful for him. And I'm happy they are making such a big effort to work on their marriage. 

*

The day after Christmas, Drew and I ran through the mall getting some exchanges made. After getting home, I began making enchiladas (50 of them this time! I usually do 60!), re-heated beans that were sent home with us from Erica and Mike's (Roy absolutely adores Mike's beans!), and cornbread. It was all devoured! I do love my enchiladas (sigh). Then we followed dinner with Drew's cakepops! It was our first attempt and, consequently, messy but we had lots of fun with it. And now, Roy and I are researching every How To video and website for cakepops made easy.

Too much fun maybe - Drew and Wolfie appear to be getting sick now.  

Jr: A New Chapter

Jr entered my room asking about college and whether or not it was too late to sign up for classes. We talked about it briefly and I offered to help him with the process. He went on to explain that he had not pursued it further because Paige had given him instruction to stay in his room and play the electronic games. This is what she wanted. He went on to say that it was over and that he had posted a lengthy rant on Facebook in an effort to sort of seal the deal - so that he would not be talked into taking her back later. He went on to talk about her infidelities and other goings on. 

This girl claimed to be a meth-addict, behaved like an alcoholic, plagued with endless diseases (cancer, lupis, endometriosis, etc.), she is a bone-thin vegetarian who talked about wanting to do a 40-day fast before she gets pregnant, and was supposedly abused by her first spouse. 

Paige had discussed her "cancer" with me and explained that the doctors were simply "keeping an eye on it." Did she think we've all been fools and believing her stories all along? We simply kept our mouths shut because she was so bizarre. Jr asked me about cancer and how it's treated. I explained to him that doctors don't simply sit back and watch and wait with cancer. Biopsies are done, tests are run, and if it is cancer then they make certain it is all out. 

I asked him about the time he took her to the walk-in clinic, and whether she filled out the paperwork on her health background. He points at me as if to be on to something and exclaims that she did not include any diseases or illnesses on the paperwork, and instead told him that it was not necessary and the doctors didn't need to know all of that information. 

At the time, she'd had her tonsils removed and as they were healing rather slowing and bleeding continued, she returned for an early follow-up with the doctor. Jr told me that the doctor had said that Paige was healing slowly because she was doing everything wrong (warm packs rather than cold packs, gargling salted water, smoking immediately after surgery, etc., etc.). Paige quickly disputed him (saying that Jr never explains anything correctly) and her explanation was that she was part of a one-percentile group that had some sort of something or other that caused her to heal slowly... -__-  (why am I not surprised? According to her, she is always the exception/fluke.)

I asked Jr whether or not he believed that her first husband actually abused Paige the way that she'd said - again, he points at me as if I'd asked the winning question. He goes on to explain that at one point Paige had hit herself over and over until she bruised and then ran away saying that she was going to tell the cops that he'd hit her. At the time, he was quite worried because he knew that the military doesn't mess around with spousal abuse, and that since she had bruising he would likely be held responsible and it would most certainly effect his military career. I brought up how Corey had sat in jail for a time because of Miranda and a fight that they'd had. He remembered, and his doubts about Paige's abuse by her husband was obvious.

Then, be became conflicted as he acknowledged that they'd had good times and I replied, "Of course. You were together for two years. You're bound to have good times. But the issue isn't the good times. It's easy to love someone when things are good." I went on to explain my mother's advice to me; make your partner as mad as he/she can be so to see how they behave when they are truly angry, and if (you) can still love them and put up with them - then you know that you have a worthy relationship. 

He tells me that if he tries to get back together with Paige that he wants me to step in and discourage it.  

We talked and talked and talked until 6:30 in the morning. 

The next day he left early and came home late, I'm guessing he was out with his cousin having a good time (something he was not allowed to do when he was with Paige). He's spent more time out of his bedroom and talking to old friends and family. This is good for him. A new chapter begins.