Breaking the Rules

I have a secret of sorts. I started this blog and then deleted everything and re-wrote it. I suppose I felt like I had breached some sort of "blogger code" in the process. The problem was that in my initial blogs I was venting, and venting a lot! I didn't want to be defined by the angry portrayal I was putting out there with those posts. I simply hadn't felt like writing anything until I was feeling passionate enough which, consequently, was in those moments of complete frustration. I wanted to be defined as I was years ago, in my teens, a happy, bubbly, silly, giggly, cheerful, positive person. The truth is though, I've changed so much since then. I'm not so naive these days, a little more reserved, and angry too.

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Recently, my youngest step-son returned home. He had been away at bootcamp for Army infantry. 

Our family has been through some kind of drama with each of our sons, and lately it's just been Corey's turn.  He'd caused drama followed with some lies to his mother (the absent parent who has family in the Mexican Mafia as well as in prison for murder). Reacting to what he'd said to her, my/our lives were threatened. I know it all sounds very melodramatic and I'm  the sort with the "it will never happen to me" frame of mind, but this time, I truly felt worried. (I'll get into more detail in a  later post, as I really don't have the time right now.) Needless to say, I still feel some animosity about the entire situation; probably because I don't feel like there was ever any real and proper resolution, nor did I get to voice everything I would have liked (not that it would have made much difference).

So, Corey returns home and as soon as he hits town, he is calling the girl, Miranda, that had helped with creating all the drama leading up to this "grand finale" (although, this time, it was easier to stay out of his drama because he is considered a legal adult now - note here what was not said is implied). I was disappointed again, but happy that he did manage to keep the drama from blowing up in our faces this time.

He's gone now. He's left for his military base. He'll be stationed there until May, at which time he is supposed to leave for Afghanistan. I pray that plans change and he does not end up in the war zone, and that if he does go to Afghanistan, he returns safely.