I can't explain him...

My husband says "fuck" and "shit" in front of our kids but the other day, while he was doing laundry (yes, he does laundry!), he asks me if I'd like my bra put in the drier - only, he spells out the word "bra" because the kids are in the room. How does this make sense please? (lol)

My first photo shoot with Ashtyn

My newest niece, Ashtyn, celebrated her first Christmas this year. We were sitting at Roy's parents and Jamie mentioned that she'd purchased a Christmas dress but never took Ashtyn for a formal photo session. She suggested that I do it and, of course, I'm excited to.

I left my Christmas tree up just for this photo shoot and arranged a small area to try to take pictures. This house is already loaded with people (my seven, and three nephews), so it's quite the mess with mattresses and blankets and Christmas toys all over the place. Just as they showed up for the pictures, Marina stops by to pick up her son and then decides to stay and participate in the photo session too. 

Later, we get Ashtyn in place and everyone is hollaring at her to smile. Poor baby just looks around the room at all the people going nutso. So now we have fourteen people in the house and at least twelve of them are calling for Ashtyn to smile (funny, but ridiculous too). At one point, as I was crouched in front of Ashtyn to take photos, Marina squats beside me to try to make her smile. She's using the fuzzy ball on a Santa hat to tickle her nose, and it'gs working, but Ashtyn is looking at Marina rather than me. I reach for Marina's hand to move her towards me and Marina jerks back as if I was going to take her toy from her. What the...? I explain to Marina that I don't want her Santa hat, but that I'm trying to take pictures and I'd like her to shift only so that Ashtyn is looking at me. She's laughs. (She laughs at everything...) I shift so that I'm hovering over Marina, baby still not looking at me... Gotta love the chaos.

So I'm just shooting away, hoping that I get something good, because in all this craziness it would be a miracle. Then, as if nothing else could go wrong, it does - and my camera starts jamming. The baby smiles, I push the button, and nothing. Again, Ashtyn smiles, I push the button - again, nothing. Grrrr

The final photos coming shortly...

Cake Pop How To

Because we purchased a cake pop cooker and supplies for Drew (yeah, yeah, it was for her!) for Christmas, and because Roy and I have such an interest in opening our own family-run bakery business one day, he and I decided to do a little more research on this topic.

Some of my favorite videos and tips follow!

#1 - You don't even need the fancy-schmancy cooker!

#2 - Don't forget to substitute ingredients when necessary.

#3 - Fill cake batter to the top of the well so that when it expands it fills the top well completely making a well-rounded ball.

(A few of problems I have with this product are: (1) preheating before filling with batter is a must; (2) as soon as you plug in the device, it begins heating up, so everything is hot while you hover over the wells to fill them with batter (making your fingers and arms easily susceptible  to burns); and (3) the entire cooker (inside and out) gets HOT! So, oven mitts are a must!)

(I notice the baker in the above video is not using oven mitts, so either her cooker is not getting hot on the outside (meaning mine may be defective, hmmm), or her hands are used to a little heat and it's not bothering her for the short time she's touching the product.)

#4 - After baking the cake pop (or rolling your cake balls), place on a pan for cooling.

#5 - Refrigeration is key! Place your cake pops on a pan and put in the freezer for no more than 15 minutes and then place in the refrigerator while you prepare the decoration ingredients.



#6 - To "glue" your stick into the cake pop, first dip the stick into the icing and then insert into the cake pop. (I'm not certain yet if the order of operations matters much: whether you should first insert the stick and then chill, or chill and then insert the sticks. hmmm)

My favorite video by far (below) by Bakerella!

Nice blog link here about cake pops and Bakerella too!

#7 - Begin with easy decorating ideas!

Oh my, my, my!! Love this blog with the kids making Oreo cake pops! Drew would love this too!

An interview with Sweet Lauren Cakes and her success story. What an inspiration!

Gwen's Kitchen Creations shares her tips and tricks!

WOW!! I'm ready for our second attempt now! =)

Christmas 2012

WOW! What a truly great Christmas it was this year! While we were a bit over-generous, we were still able to pay our bills - so that's good! (HaHa) We had all the boys home together and its been good. When it turned out that Roy didn't have to work after all, we made a last minute decision to open our gifts on Christmas Eve instead. This was also made possible because I had talked with Wolfie and Drew about who Santa really is and the Spirit of Christmas. (They already had a good idea of this anyhow, I simply confirmed it for them and, as Drew put it, took the fun out of it. Ah well, there was still plenty of fun to be had.) Even more funny, once Jr. and Corey realized the plan and that Aaron had also purchased gifts for everyone, the need to participate sunk in and they made a run for last minute gifts as well. Roy was trying to sleep when the boys bounded into the room to wrap their gifts and their inexperience at wrapping provided a rather comical scene.

When the kids could wait no longer, we gathered in the family room and Drew passed out the gifts. We dug in. Jr, Aaron, Candice, and Corey each received a speaker/alarm clock/charging dock for their iPhones, and I must add the sound is awesome. This was their "big" gift from me and Roy, but we also paid their phone bill for this month and since we do not have Corey's phone on our account we got him a water dispenser with a 5 gallon jug because he seemed so fond of ours. Each of our family members also received a Turvis Tumbler as my last effort to try to keep drinks from being confused and, consequently, wasted. I never thought I would see the day when I spent nearly $200.00 on cups! We included Candice and Miranda in this gift as well, as Candice is family, and Miranda and Corey have been going to counseling for a while now and attempting to work things out. Drew's "big" gift from us would be the cake pop maker supplies. She loves baking cookies and cupcakes, so we thought we'd expand her options a little more. But she did rake in the most gifts (clothes, gold earrings, several game cards, headphones, etc.) as hers are not as pricey as the gifts for the boys. Wolfie's "big" gift would likely be his wireless Turtle Beaches headphones which I better never find left on the floor - or else! But his gifts were all very pricey (xbox Live Points, and Game Points (I don't really understand all of the xbox stuff), a new Minecraft account (as Drew was taking over his old account), clothes, xbox memory card, etc.).

Jr bought Drew a large Lalaloopsy theme park with dolls, and Wolfie a $60.00 gift card to Game Stop (which was perfect for Wolfie because he had it spent as soon as he saw it). Aaron and Candice bought Drew a Disney Kinect Game, Wolfie an xbox game, Jr and Corey each got a Whataburger gift card, I got scented bath and lotion stuff (which smells so good!), and Roy a Dallas Cowboy blanket and Harley Davidson calendar (they know him so well). Corey bought Drew a Barbie movie (which turned out to be one of her favorites), and Wolfie a querty keyboard that attaches to his xbox controls (it's pretty cool!). Wolfie bought Aaron a subscription for a men's workout magazine, and Candice the season 2 dvds of Pretty Little Liars. Drew bought Aaron a headband and non-slip socks (because he is the workout enthusiast), and Candice a pretty black and white floral electric heated blanket (which she adores because her room gets pretty cold at times). Wolfie and Drew went in together (as it was expensive) and purchased the Far Cry xbox game, one for Jr, and one for Corey (this is the game Wolfie bought for himself as well with Jr's gift card).

The only thing lacking from the night was some yummy food. I had bought stuff to make enchiladas but hadn't planned to cook them until after Christmas, and with everything moving so fast on Christmas Eve there was little time to put anything together. But since we enjoyed having our Christmas on it's Eve, we plan to continue the tradition and next year will, hopefully, be planned out better.

The following day we swung by Roy's parents' home first. It was a huge hit this year as the younger children drew names for gift buying which was easier on everyone's pocket book. The adults (who wanted to play) brought a gift for the Elephant Game. We all laughed and had a good time, and even those who didn't play seemed to enjoy it (I'm hoping more will join in next year). Roy and I walked away with a gift card to Spec's Liquor, a gift card to Subway (that came with some holiday kitchen towels). Roy's gift for the game was a huge hit! A unique centerpiece that included beer bottles with the bottoms cut out, small candles placed inside each bottle, and sat in a metal holder. 

From there, we ran over to my sister's home. Aaron was already there, but Jr and Corey stayed at their grandparents.  Aaron doesn't care to visit Roy's parents as they were quite cruel to him when he was younger. Jr and Corey get along with my family but still seem much more comfortable at their grandparents' home. For this reason, and because they are older now and can come and go as they please, we are beginning to go separate directions for holidays. That's okay. This is how we all tend to do as we get older and begin having our own families.

In the past, we normally visit my family first, but as Roy's family began harping on us early to stop at their home first this year, we did. Either way, we had plenty to eat and it was all good. We arrived at Erica's and the kids were ready and waiting to open gifts. I had purchase some turquoise jewelry for my sisters and my eldest niece. Each piece was really pretty and hard to part with, but they enjoyed receiving them too. We sat and visited with everyone for a couple of hours before heading home. And it was a good Christmas day.

*

Roy was hoping to bring the entire family to Big Lou's Pizza in San Antonio this year for New Years, but money is tighter than expected so we likely won't. We've been invited to Erica's New Year's party again (it's become quite the tradition) but our plans remain to be seen. I suspect our nephews, who have stayed with us every weekend for the past two months will likely be over for the New Year too, and Wolfie will want to stay with them. Aaron and Candice will likely be with her parents as they have been doing every year. Corey will likely split to party with his friends, and Jr had talked about going to his old military base to visit friends (I think that would be really good for him).

*

Paige is gone. It's a good thing. It was an extremely unhealthy relationship, and anyone who saw it - knew it. While she left quite a while back, she had still been stringing him along on the phone for some time now. Finally fed up with it, he quit. He posted a rant on Facebook in an effort to finalize the deal for himself, and then he and I stayed up until 6:30 in the morning talking about it. I think he's finally back. He's ready to get on with college and work and life. He seems to have good days and bad days but he has been making good effort to get out and get involved. I'll be more assertive now with my effort to help him get into college. It's important to Jr to have a family. His family will always be his priority. He's so academically smart, and he is really thoughtful in his conversations and concerns. And kids! He is so good with kids! As much as he is worried for his life - he shouldn't be. He just needs to be patient. 

*

Corey seems to be doing really good. I can honestly say that his rebellious nature seems to encourage independence - and that's what I've always wanted for the boys. Independence and stability - but also respectfulness (which he needs to work on some - but don't we all). As I said earlier in this post, he and Miranda have been attending counseling for some 18 weeks now. He says he enjoys it; however, Miranda not so much. He says she walks away from it just more upset and I'm certain that it stems from resisting responsibility for her part of the problems. She's not alone in that; Corey and her father-in-law are the same way. In our conversation, Corey told me, "I'm 19-20. I shouldn't be going through this already." An acknowledgement of maybe regret, but also realization too. He is growing and maturing, and I think the counseling truly is helpful for him. And I'm happy they are making such a big effort to work on their marriage. 

*

The day after Christmas, Drew and I ran through the mall getting some exchanges made. After getting home, I began making enchiladas (50 of them this time! I usually do 60!), re-heated beans that were sent home with us from Erica and Mike's (Roy absolutely adores Mike's beans!), and cornbread. It was all devoured! I do love my enchiladas (sigh). Then we followed dinner with Drew's cakepops! It was our first attempt and, consequently, messy but we had lots of fun with it. And now, Roy and I are researching every How To video and website for cakepops made easy.

Too much fun maybe - Drew and Wolfie appear to be getting sick now.  

Jr: A New Chapter

Jr entered my room asking about college and whether or not it was too late to sign up for classes. We talked about it briefly and I offered to help him with the process. He went on to explain that he had not pursued it further because Paige had given him instruction to stay in his room and play the electronic games. This is what she wanted. He went on to say that it was over and that he had posted a lengthy rant on Facebook in an effort to sort of seal the deal - so that he would not be talked into taking her back later. He went on to talk about her infidelities and other goings on. 

This girl claimed to be a meth-addict, behaved like an alcoholic, plagued with endless diseases (cancer, lupis, endometriosis, etc.), she is a bone-thin vegetarian who talked about wanting to do a 40-day fast before she gets pregnant, and was supposedly abused by her first spouse. 

Paige had discussed her "cancer" with me and explained that the doctors were simply "keeping an eye on it." Did she think we've all been fools and believing her stories all along? We simply kept our mouths shut because she was so bizarre. Jr asked me about cancer and how it's treated. I explained to him that doctors don't simply sit back and watch and wait with cancer. Biopsies are done, tests are run, and if it is cancer then they make certain it is all out. 

I asked him about the time he took her to the walk-in clinic, and whether she filled out the paperwork on her health background. He points at me as if to be on to something and exclaims that she did not include any diseases or illnesses on the paperwork, and instead told him that it was not necessary and the doctors didn't need to know all of that information. 

At the time, she'd had her tonsils removed and as they were healing rather slowing and bleeding continued, she returned for an early follow-up with the doctor. Jr told me that the doctor had said that Paige was healing slowly because she was doing everything wrong (warm packs rather than cold packs, gargling salted water, smoking immediately after surgery, etc., etc.). Paige quickly disputed him (saying that Jr never explains anything correctly) and her explanation was that she was part of a one-percentile group that had some sort of something or other that caused her to heal slowly... -__-  (why am I not surprised? According to her, she is always the exception/fluke.)

I asked Jr whether or not he believed that her first husband actually abused Paige the way that she'd said - again, he points at me as if I'd asked the winning question. He goes on to explain that at one point Paige had hit herself over and over until she bruised and then ran away saying that she was going to tell the cops that he'd hit her. At the time, he was quite worried because he knew that the military doesn't mess around with spousal abuse, and that since she had bruising he would likely be held responsible and it would most certainly effect his military career. I brought up how Corey had sat in jail for a time because of Miranda and a fight that they'd had. He remembered, and his doubts about Paige's abuse by her husband was obvious.

Then, be became conflicted as he acknowledged that they'd had good times and I replied, "Of course. You were together for two years. You're bound to have good times. But the issue isn't the good times. It's easy to love someone when things are good." I went on to explain my mother's advice to me; make your partner as mad as he/she can be so to see how they behave when they are truly angry, and if (you) can still love them and put up with them - then you know that you have a worthy relationship. 

He tells me that if he tries to get back together with Paige that he wants me to step in and discourage it.  

We talked and talked and talked until 6:30 in the morning. 

The next day he left early and came home late, I'm guessing he was out with his cousin having a good time (something he was not allowed to do when he was with Paige). He's spent more time out of his bedroom and talking to old friends and family. This is good for him. A new chapter begins.

Beautiful Drew

Getting in some Christmas shopping with Drew. 

She needs these don't ya think!

Slim Your Stomach Yoga Poses

Take a break from crunches and get the flat belly you want with yoga. As you work through these yoga poses, you'll engage your core muscles and concentrate on balance and breathing. If you can't hold a pose for very long, don't worry. You'll build strength each time. Just do as much as you can and work up to holding each pose for 10 breaths.

Straight Leg Lift and Lower, Part 1

1. Lie on your back and place a block between your upper thighs.

2. Bring your legs straight up to the ceiling and flex your feet.

3. Keep your lower back pressed firmly into the ground.

Hint: If you don't have a block, try using a sturdy throw pillow.

Straight Leg Lift and Lower, Part 2

1. From the position above, start to lower your legs toward the ground.

2. Only lower them as far as you can, keeping the lower back flat on the ground. If you drop your legs all the way down and your lower back pops up, this move loses its ab-strengthening power and can strain the lower back.

3. Repeat 10 times.

Spine Massage Roll-Ups

1. Stay on your back and bring your legs straight up. Think of this move as a massage for the spine rather than an abdominal exercise.

2. Bring your feet over your head, rolling on your spine slowly until your feet touch the ground behind you. If this is too much on your spine or neck, only bring your feet as far as you can without feeling pain in your back.

3. Return your feet to the straight-up position.

4. Repeat 10 times.

Rocking Boat

1. Come into Boat Pose with bent knees.

2. Tip your knees to one side and then the other. Try to keep the motion steady.

3. Keep breathing and repeat 10 times.

Boat Pose: a. Sit with your knees bent, feet flat on the floor. b. Hold on to your legs under thighs, grabbing just above the knees. Lean back slightly. c. Raise your feet off the floor and press them together. Lift your feet until your shins are parallel to the floor. d. Extend your arms straight in front of you to shoulder height, palms up.

Bent-Leg Boat Raise and Lower

1. Come back into Boat Pose.

2. Lower your torso and legs toward the floor, hovering just above the floor. Bring the whole thing back up into Boat Pose.

3. Repeat 10 times.

Modified Wheel Pose: 

1. Lie on your back and give your abs a nice stretch in the opposite direction. Interlace your hands underneath your lower back and press your hips up into a Modified Wheel Pose.

2. Keep breathing and try to back slightly off your fullest possible pose. This will ease the strain and train your body and brain to stick with poses longer.

Modified Wheel Pose: a. Lie on your back, feet flat on the floor, palms down. b. Lift your hips and torso off the floor, pressing into your palms and feet. c. Interlace your hands and press your shoulders and upper arms into the floor. Lift your hips higher toward the ceiling. d. Hold for 10 breaths. Lower your glutes back to the floor, and separate your arms.

One-Minute Plank Pose

1. Come into Plank Pose.

2. Try holding this position for 1 minute. You'll feel this in your abs as well as the whole body.

3. Keep focused on your abs so you can keep the entire body in one strong line.

Plank Pose: a. Get into a push-up position: Hands are shoulder-width apart, feet are hip-width apart, and your heels, ankles, butt, spine, shoulders, neck, and head should be in one long line. b. Bend your elbows to lower your body, keeping your elbows hugged into your ribs.

Upward Dog Stretch

1. Lie face down, the tops of your feet on the mat. Bend your elbows and place your palms on the floor beside your lower ribs.

2. Push up, straightening your arms without locking your elbows, and lift your upper legs and torso into the air.

3. Arch your chest upward, lifting the sternum. Keep elbows in, close to your sides. The main purpose of the pose is to give your abs a nice stretch, so breathe deep and enjoy your hard work.

Hint: Roll your shoulders back.

Cut and pasted from this link 

No-Bake Chocolate-Peanut Butter Cookies

No-Bake Chocolate-Peanut Butter Cookies
By Food & Wine

These incredible crumbly, ultra-peanutty cookies require only four ingredients and no baking! Cut and pasted from this → link.

INGREDIENTS
4 cups sweetened puffed-corn cereal like Corn Pops (4 ounces)
4 large peanut butter cups (3 ounces each)
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
About 3/4 cup chocolate sprinkles

DIRECTIONS
1. In a food processor, grind 3 cups of the corn cereal to a powder. Add the peanut butter cups and peanut butter and process until the mixture is glossy and comes together, about 2 minutes. Add the remaining 1 cup of corn cereal and process until very finely chopped and the mixture just holds together; you should still see small flecks of cereal.

2. Roll the mixture into a 9-inch log and wrap in plastic. Roll the log back and forth until smooth. Unwrap the log and spread the chocolate sprinkles on the plastic wrap. Roll the log in the sprinkles, pressing to help them adhere. Wrap and refrigerate for 15 minutes.

3. Cut the log into 18 pieces and roll the edges in any leftover sprinkles. Serve.

Make Ahead The sliced cookies can be refrigerated for up to 5 days.

Creating new Christmas traditions

This is likely the first year ever that I began my Christmas shopping in November!  It felt great - in the beginning; I was ahead of the game and feeling all too generous.  And then, I realized, I was being all too generous.

I am less than a week away from the big day now and the stress has settled in as I am still not finished with my shopping and sick of spending so much money. And our family is only growing larger so I'm stressing over all the Christmas' to come too! 

For the past several years, our Christmas' are spent racing through our own gift exchange, racing to my sister's home for a family get together and gift exchange, racing to my husband's parents for their family get together and gift exchange, and finally racing home to relax.  However, for me, growing up, we celebrated Christmas at our own home and relaxed and played all day.  I suppose our family get-togethers were done Christmas Eve or in the days after.  

I'm a little worried about breaking the news to my family but I feel a change coming on.  As my own family grows, the need to have our own holiday celebrations at home also grows. Unfortunately, having our own Christmas on Christmas Eve is not an option because my husband works every Christmas Eve night, coming home early on Christmas he fights sleep throughout Christmas day.

In addition, I need to get a handle on the Christmas spending; it's just way out of hand.  So, I'm surfing the net for ideas and came across the following which I really liked a lot.

1) Secret Santa/Draw names. Everyone's name goes in the "pot" and each person draws one name to buy for. For added fun, the results can be kept secret and the gifts labeled "From your Secret Santa". Add a low price limit across the board to ensure fairness and ease stress. This is much easier on everyone's pocketbook, and we already do this for my husband's family get-together. It's much nicer to focus on finding that one special gift for a specific someone, rather than stressing over finding something special for so many. I recently suggested that next year we might have each person make a wish list next year, with the instruction that they will only be receiving one item from it. This will keep their lists to a minimum, naming only those things they truly desire.

2) The Elephant Game. Each person brings one (unlabeled) gift and places it under the tree (again, a low price limit can be assigned across the board to ensure fairness and discourage real fighting over a gift).  Person #1 chooses a gift and opens it.  Person #2 gets the option of choosing a gift from under the tree or "stealing" the gift from Person #1. Person #3 then gets the option of choosing a gift from under the tree or "stealing" the gift from the first two persons, so on and so on. Once a gift has been stolen three times, it's off limits.

3) The themed Christmas. This makes finding a gift less painful.  Some theme ideas might be:

  a) Recipes: Help build a cookbook for your loved ones by swapping your favorite recipe.  Add to the interest, by preparing your meal to share on Christmas. It can be broad or narrowed down further by cuisine.

  b) Magazine Subscriptions: A fun gift that keeps on giving. On the night of the exchanges, bring along the current issue of the magazine wrapped with a bow.

  c) Books and/or DVDs: Help loved one's build there library of books or movies. 

4) This game requires a $50.00 bill (more or less, or gift card, whatever) which is wrapped, rewrapped, and rewrapped again, all very tightly, a Santa hat and gloves, and dice.  Begin by passing the dice around the table, each person given one chance to roll doubles and then passing to their neighbor. The first person to roll doubles begins by putting on the Santa hat and gloves and then attempting to unwrap the prize (all the while, the other players are passing the dice around rolling the dice once and trying to get doubles). Once another player finally rolls doubles, they must then sport the Santa hat and gloves and then make their unwrapping attempt. This process of desperately trying to roll doubles and unwrap the prize continues until the last person is able to reach the prize inside - this person gets to keep the prize! This is a fast paced game with a little silliness added for fun and laughter. Obviously, it is important that the prize be wrapped A LOT and tightly making it difficult to unwrapped with gloved hands. 

5) Write a letter. Rather than purchasing items, why not express your love in the long lost art of your own handwriting.  But this may be one gift that is sure to have tears flowing.

6) Serve others. Have each family member purchase a toy for a less fortunate child. There are several organizations in the area that make there way around handing them out to children who would have nothing. Maybe purchase a small tree and a few decorations for a family that can't afford one. Or volunteer your time for a charity.

*

I suppose children are born egocentric, and some seem to never grow out of it. I do believe that it is a parental responsibility to guide their children into more generous and selfless behaviors. With our two youngest, we have made it a priority to "donate" some of our income so that they can purchase gifts for their loved ones and enjoy the gift of giving too. They are so delighted to see the reactions from everyone opening the gift the chose special for them. This is something we did not do with our three oldest sons. I suppose we wanted to be certain they received what they hoped for and many times those items were very pricey and our income/budget was much lower then. Either way, all of my kiddos have very giving natures. Now that my soldiers are both back in the states, I get to look forward to Christmas with all of them. 

I'm thinking about making some enchiladas...

Cats play patty-cake

The Demise of Healthy Articulation

In the news today, I read an article about a father's letter to his children reprimanding their life choices/paths. It follows:

Disappointing, although not surprising, to see that his children have responded by "biting back" rather than seizing the moment to shine.  However, I do not know what their personal circumstances are, whether there is a total disrespect for their parents, or whether their parents are overly judgmental and harsh on their children, etc. My response is regardless of their circumstances as my response is, of course, personally subjective. I applaud Mr. Crews', simply for his very articulate reprimand because it could apply to so many people today. It is very apparent, to me, in this letter that Mr. Crews' loves his children and holds them in very high regard, maybe more so than they hold themselves; otherwise, a parent doesn't take this sort of time, initiative, and "gamble" with the relationship to make these expressions of higher expectations. It seems to me that there are more and more parents who fail to communicate to their children for fear of upsetting their child (I know one of these parents very personally). They are more worried about being friends with their children than parenting and guiding them. But I too am guilty of carefully tip-toeing through my words so as to express them without offending my child, only to wonder later about whether or not it was effectively received. What has happened to the days when a parent was comfortable enough in their relationship with their child to express their frustration in conjunction with the corresponding emotion(s), and maybe even administer the spanking or punishment as deemed appropriate. 

In my work as a legal assistant in a law firm which specializes in criminal law, I see, far too often, parents who have not spent the time and effort guiding, educating, admonishing, and communicating high expectation for their children. It's not until their child is in trouble with the law and sitting in jail that they make their "parental" presence known. And then I find myself completely stunned by a parent who behaves in that way that you should not want your child to behave. These arrogant parents boast intimidating and violent threats which are then mimicked by their children, and then they all are completely puzzled as to why all of the negative energy is focused on them.

So many "crybabies" embracing their self-proclaimed victimness rather than responding to their oppositions, transgressors, and criticisms with a kindness, open-mindedness, honesty, and general sweetness that transcends the seemingly "natural" response of aggression.  

Are we raising a world of tyrannical heirs waiving victim cards? It can be attractive to a young person who finds him/herself reprimanded by family or parents, to search out sympathizing enablors who, without much question or factual knowledge, validate via empathy. Can this be a good thing? Why not the more gallant but more difficult to muster response which also echos it's support group? It's unfortunate that we may never have the entire world on our side, but which pasture of patrons do you prefer?

This brings to mind a Facebook friend who expressed a desire to say what was truly on her mind rather than biting her tongue over and over again. Have you ever "turned the other cheek" only to be haunted later by a feeling that you were not "true to yourself"? Wondering maybe, if you had spouted the initial negatively articulated admonishment you longed to get off your chest, that you would feel more vindicated? And then, in the alternative, have you ever found yourself having spouted spite only to regret this too in shame? Rather to sit a spell, gather your emotions, concerns, and effective words so as to express yourself in a more responsible, respectable, and receptive manner. 

Often times the best and more rewarded response is the hardest one to muster.  

As Strother Martin famously drawls in Cool Hand Luke, "What we got here is failure to communicate."

Thanksgiving 2012

I was outside taking pictures of my darling daughter when Corey arrived. We paused our photo shoot to welcome him. Most of us were already dressed and just about to head for my sister's home. As we had not heard a peep from Jr yet, I suggested to Corey that he give the door a rap to wake him and then they could come together. He agreed.

Aaron is gone with Candice today. Every year, they attend a religious rally. This year it's in Austin and they traveled caravan-style with a rather large group from their church. It's good for them and so, it doesn't bother me that I do not get to spend this holiday with them. Their needs before my own.

We were at my sister's for at least an hour when Corey showed up - alone. Jr refused to come out of the room. Later, he informs us that it was because Paige had insisted he stay there in his room. Who does that? What is wrong with that girl? I don't get her. But during his rant, he acknowledged his frustration with her double-standard behavior. (She has gone to be with her family for a wedding and the holidays - and isn't even certain that she wants to return to him.) However, I do acknowledge that Jr is just as responsible for this because he is allowing her to have that kind of control over him. It's an unnecessary desperation in him to make a family. He's such a sucker for a family, but that's not really a bad thing - unless you're with a ridiculously irrational girl.

It was a nice visit with family, albeit rushed. The food was the usual creative stuff, so Wolfie and Drew didn't eat much (nor did I). From there we went to Roy's parents' home to visit and eat. And again, the food was nothing the kids nor I would dig-in to (and we witnessed a fly commit suicide in the rice which discouraged any appetite we may have had).  Consequently, when we finally arrived home, we were all starving; I popped some pizzas in the oven. Pizza for Thanksgiving. I'll have to plan this out differently next year. 

It puts me on Cloud 9

My son, Aaron, sent me a text saying, "Call me."  And so, I did.

"What's up?", I ask.

"I'm upset" he replies.

His disc drive isn't recognizing any discs right now.  For an inexpensive computer, this wouldn't be a surprise to me - but, a little over a year ago, he worked his tail off, saved, researched computer options, even made telephone calls to retailers inquiring about their product and, finally, purchased this one for around 2-2,500 dollars, so his distress is well warranted.

I immediately started my internet search regarding the problem and found a Microsoft support site with a possible fix, and emailed it to him.  Trying to pacify him, I offered this support and suggested he begin by doing his own investigating on the net for simple fixes.  He believes he purchased extra warranty, and plans to look for that paperwork - maybe give them a call.  I assured him it will get fixed and I will help all I can, as this computer is too pricey to just let it go at this point.  He said, "okay" and got off the phone.  I hope I gave him some small peace of mind, but I know, firsthand, how extremely stressful this is for him.  However, I also know the computer isn't "trashed", it will be inconvenient and frustrating to get it fixed (one way or the other) but it will still be saved.

And I'm smiling - because my son called me for support when he was upset.  I love when they come to me.

10-2012 Kids Photos

Dragged my lovely children out for this year's pictures. I had to force Drew into the grass to take this shot but we are both very pleased with the result. (It's obvious how the camera loves her too.)

And my darling, Wolfie, is growing up so fast that I can hardly stand it. I am thankful for his sweet, loving spirit and that he still lets my hug and kiss on him.

I have such a love for tile - this is my favorite spot and angle for pictures.

You can't even tell how eager they were during this shoot to get finished and get home again.

Changes

Because of his work schedule, on his days off Roy usually doesn't sleep most nights. He tends to get up about two in the morning and play on the computer until 7:00 or 8:00 a.m. then returns to bed to finally sleep again.  This morning was the same, except this time on the way to bed he had to maneuver past boxes which Paige had moved into the hallway.  

Roy slid into bed next to me and asked what was going on with Jr and Paige - I knew nothing.  He informed me of the boxes in the hallway and suggested, "maybe they're cleaning?" Unusual as that may be, it could happen.

A couple of hours later, I finally start moving around the house. I shower and start cooking breakfast for Drew, who falls back to sleep before I can finish getting it ready.  

Standing in the kitchen, Jr enters the room to discuss cashing his income tax check, paying on his truck, college, and an unexpected deposit into his checking account.  I ask him about the boxes and he responds that Paige is leaving for Vegas for her brother's wedding.  I was aware of the impending marriage but never new the exact date.  He elaborates that he is not invited to the wedding, and his tone is indication that his feelings are, understandably, hurt by this.  He goes on to say that Paige is moving all of her belongings from our home to a friend's home with the idea that she may not return to Jr.  Again, he is understandably agitated. I feel badly for him but don't know what to say in response; there really is nothing that can make this better right now. I change the subject back to school and let him know that I will help all I can with it.

A Suburban pulls up to our driveway and waits.  Shortly thereafter, Paige and her friends begin loading the Suburban with her belongings.  Afterward, she hugs Jr and manages a sniffle, then leaves.

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On another note, I began texting Corey here and there in an effort to move things forward between us.  I think it's working.  My hope, though, is that he has come to understand what is, and is not, acceptable in our home and with me.  I hope there will be no further issue with lies and fights. Consequently, I have invited him home for Thanksgiving and to attend dinner on that day with us at my sister's home.  He has accepted and I am looking forward to it.

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The end of the year is coming, and I am so looking forward to the beginning of 2013.  I have extremely high expectation for the house this year as we are paying off the Jeep in March and with the additional savings, we will be catching up on other bills and remodeling the casa! <squealing with excitement>

Presidential Election FYI

Last night, as the presidential election was coming to a close, I sat down to discuss some of it with my kids (who I homeschool).  We talked about the two frontrunners and touched on popular votes and electoral votes.  They seemed completely lost, inspiring the following analogy.  

Instead of referring to "electoral votes" (which is where I would completely "lose" them), I changed it up to say, consider, or think of "electoral votes" as a "bucket of candy".  And each state has a bucket of candy with a different amount of candy inside.  For instance, Texas has a bucket with 38 pieces of candy in their bucket (or 38 electoral votes), and Ohio has 18 pieces of candy in their bucket (or 18 electoral votes), New York has 29 pieces of candy in their bucket (or 29 electoral votes), but Wyoming only has 3 pieces of candy in their bucket (or 3 electoral votes), and so on and so on. 

(We use this candy analogy for our division lessons as well, and personalize it by using family names, because they can get lost in the numbers but should we be dividing candy - you can bet your bottom dollar they understanding dividing that correctly!)

During election, we (the people of the United States of America), go to a voting booth and cast our vote (also referred to as a ballot).  This can be done either on paper or electronically (these days, typically electronically).  When everyone is done voting, the votes are tallied up (or counted).  These votes are also referred to as "popular votes". 

Now, back to the "candy in the bucket".

Who ever has the most "popular votes" in a state wins the that states "bucket of candy" (or electoral votes).  There are only two states whose "candy" can be split up between the candidates: Nebraska, who has 5 pieces of candy in the bucket (or 5 electoral votes), and Maine, who has 4 pieces of candy in the bucket (or 4 electoral votes).

In the end, they guy with the most candy - wins!

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How many total electoral votes?

The number of electoral votes is 538, based on the total voting membership of the United States Congress:  435 Representatives, 100 Senators, and 3 from the District of Columbia.

How is the number of electoral votes for each state determined?

The number of electoral votes for each state is equal to the number of Senators plus the number of the House of Representatives. The number of senators is fixed at two but the number of Representatives for each state varies with the population of the state but is always at least one. The District of Columbia (also known as Washington D.C.) gets the same amount of electoral votes as the state with the least amount of electoral votes (this is currently 3).

    2 - Number of Senators for the state

+ X - Number of Representatives for the state (varies with population)

    Y - Total Number of Electoral Votes ("candy in the bucket") for the state

The number of representatives that a state has is determined by the population. After the official census is completed every ten years, Congress adjusts the number of Representatives based on the new population figures. Consequently, the number of electoral votes (or "candy in the bucket") can increase or decrease.

How does the census effect the electoral votes?

A census is a process of collecting data (or information) pertaining to each person in the United States.  This information is used to determine, among other things, funding for a state, and how many Representatives each state is allowed.  This is also referred to as “Apportionment”. Apportionment is the process of dividing the 435 memberships (also called "seats") in the House of Representatives among the 50 states.  This division (or Apportionment) is based on the population numbers collected during the census.  A new census is taken every 10 years.

The total number of Representatives for each state is currently fixed at 435 (this means it must stay at 435 - each state can increase or decrease but the total number for the entire U.S. must stay at 435).  Therefore, if one state increases in population enough to merit (or earn) another representative, then some other state must also lose a representative to keep the number at 435.  In the past, the total number of Representatives has increased, but the last time that happened was in 1913.

The last U.S. Census was taken in 2010, and based on that information, some of the numbers of electoral votes ("candy") was increased and decreased for some states.  

Here's the updated totals for each state for 2012:

Alabama - 9

Alaska - 3

Arizona - 11

Arkansas - 6

California - 55

Colorado - 9 (swing state)

Connecticut - 7

Delaware - 3

Florida - 29 (swing state)

Georgia - 16

Hawaii - 4

Idaho - 4

Illinois - 20

Indiana - 11 (swing state)

Iowa - 6 (swing state)

Kansas - 6

Kentucky - 8

Louisiana - 8

Maine - 4

Maryland - 10

Massachusetts - 11

Michigan - 16

Minnesota - 10

Mississippi - 6

Missouri - 10

Montana - 3

Nebraska - 5

Nevada - 6 (swing state)

New Hampshire - 4 (swing state)

New Jersey - 14

New Mexico - 5 (swing state)

New York - 29

North Carolina - 15 (swing state)

North Dakota - 3

Ohio - 18 (swing state)

Oklahoma - 7

Oregon - 7

Pennsylvania - 20

Rhode Island - 4

South Carolina - 9

South Dakota - 3

Tennessee - 11

Texas - 38

Utah - 6

Vermont - 3

Virginia - 13 (swing state)

Washington - 12

West Virginia - 5

Wisconsin - 10

Wyoming - 3

District of Columbia - 3

Some critics of the electoral voting system argue that it is undemocratic and gives swing states disproportionate influence in electing the President and Vice President.  Supporters of the electoral voting system argue that it is an important, distinguishing feature of federalism in the United States and that it protects the rights of smaller states.

What is a swing state?

 A swing states is a state in which no single candidate or party has overwhelming support in securing that state's electoral votes.  (For instance, certain states almost always lean one direction or another (Republican or Democrat). Swing states show a tendency to go either way and are targets for both of Republican and Democratic political parties during a presidential election because winning these states help secure winning the election.

Which U.S. states get to vote in the presidential election?

All 50 U.S. states are allowed to participate the voting process including the District of Columbia (also known as Washington D.C.) which is not considered a U.S. state.  (The "D.C." in "Washington D.C." stands for District of Columbia.)

How many electoral votes does Washington DC get?

Washington DC gets 3 electoral votes as if it were a state, but will never get more than the least populous state.

Explanation excerpt via Wikipedia:

Voting rights of citizens in the District of Columbia differ from the rights of citizens in each of the 50 U.S. States.  The United States Constitution grants each state voting representation in both houses of the United States Congress. As the U.S. capital, the District of Columbia is a special federal district, not a state, and therefore does not have voting representation in the Congress. The Constitution grants the Congress  exclusive jurisdiction over the District in "all cases whatsoever."

The District's lack of voting representation in Congress has been an issue since the capital's foundation. Numerous proposals have been introduced to change this situation including legislation and constitutional amendments, returning the District to the state of Maryland, and making the District into a new state. All proposals have been met with political or constitutional challenges and there has been no change in the District's representation in the Congress.

Why Isn't Washington DC a State?

Basically, Washington D. C. (or District of Columbia) is not a state because it is actually a Federal District. Without getting into too much detail, and in effort to avoid being too vague as well, the founders of the country did not want the federal government to be run by state laws nor to mingle.  State laws can differ from federal laws creating conflict.  Historically, states had more rights and power than the federal government, especially in the early days of the republic.  But in 1783, there was an attack on Congress in Philadelphia. Pennsylvania authorities would not help in stopping the attack and the congressmen had to flee across the Delaware to neighboring New Jersey. Consequently, the federal government decided that the new capital would need to be in a "federal town" over which the federal government would have control so a similar scene would never play out again.

2012 Presidential Election map via Politico

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On a personal note, I'm not one to debate sensitive topics much, such as abortion, politics, religion, etc. They are important to me and I have my take on each, but I discuss my stance with my mother, my husband, and on occasion, my children.  Just as I do not affiliate myself with any one organized religion, I do not attach to a particular political party (and I rarely vote straight Republic or straight Democrat - it all just depends...). I enjoyed this election process but only because the older I get, the more interested I am.  I, frankly, did not care for either of our choices this year - but... insert The Serenity Prayer here.  

I would like to address here (since I did create this is my forum to do so), all the drama I've seen from my Facebook "friends".  Because of my political position and despite my political position - I am not an Obama hater, nor do I believe him to be the "anti-Christ", nor do I feel a desire to leave the country, nor do I feel a need for Texas to succeed now.  It is curious to me that so many people seem to grab tidbits (which are not in any way,  completely or even partially, verified) in order to validate their position (which also seems to stem from a hate that originates on a personal level first).  It is increasingly difficult to siphon through these haters to the legitimate verifiable issues.  I do know that (without revealing who I voted for, because it's nobody damn business) that it only takes one racial slur to register (for me) who is racist and, consequently, invalidate their entire political argument.