Mom revises her Will

Mom is having surgery (for certain now) on Tuesday.

She called me at work today to inform me that she's made a revision to her Will; wherein, before, everything was to be divided equally between her three daughters and then one-half of my third was bequeathed to my son, Aaron (they are very close); she has now revised it in her effort to be fair to my other two (biological) children. Still, she wants to ensure that Aaron receives what she desires to leave for him, she has Willed it so that his share will go directly into a trust fund which he will receive when he is 30 years of age. 

A back-story: Dad had Willed his cattle to be divided equally between his two eldest grandsons, Aaron and Colton. When dad passed away, the cattle was sold and the money divided. Aaron's money was put into a trust fund by my mom. However, as I understand it, Brenda had insisted that Colton's money be given to her to handle as she saw fit and that money was never given to Colton and is now gone.

I suppose that I could construe that mother doesn't trust me to handle Aaron's inheritance and that I could take offense by that presumption, but I don't, and I'm not. Honestly, I don't think it's really about me. My mother prefers to be in control of things (this is her personality), and she has always felt very maternal towards Aaron. He's my son, but I understand and can appreciate the relationship that they have. It's just simply not a battle that I feel a need to fight. 

Regardless, mom informed me that she had made the change because she didn't want to be unfair to Wolfie and Drew. She went on to say that maybe Brenda will be happier with this arrangement. (Brenda had voiced to Erica that she was extremely unhappy that Aaron was specified in the Will at all exclaiming, "since when did we get a brother!" She went on to say that she remained suspicious that Mom's was dividing her assets so that Brenda was getting "cheated" because of Aaron. All this regardless of the fact Brenda had been notified long ago of these Will specifics and that it only actually effected me, Wolfie, and Drew.) I told mom that I didn't want her to make the change simply to keep Brenda happy and that I respected her wishes. My feeling is that this woman has worked her ass off for her entire life, made sacrifices, did without, so that she has ended up with what she has now (and doing pretty good, I might add) so she can do whatever she pleases with her shit. Who am I, or any of her daughters/family, to have any authority over what she does with her assets? She is, and always has been, a smart woman and can do as she pleases. She could leave everything to a charity (which I have seen done quite a number of times in my employ in the legal field and doing Estate Planning services), and there shouldn't be a damn thing that any of us should say about it. I just don't feel it is any of our business to be offended by the way she handles her belongings.

Regardless, Mom assures me that she is pleased with the change and has informed Erica of same too. She doesn't want arguments after she's gone, so she has informed us of many of the aspects of her Will.

Mom goes on to express that she is grateful that I understand and respect her wishes in her Will; she says, "...it makes me feel like you love me more than them." 

I reassure her, "That's not true though."

"I know" says mom, "but you are the only one that comes to visit just to sit down and talk to me. Erica only comes by when she wants something, and Brenda never comes by - I only see her on holidays. I want you to know that I really appreciate that you make time for me and when Roy hugs me and says he loves me, I believe him."

"Well, he does."

"I know." She's crying now and I'm getting choked up too. Tears welling, we try to regain composure. 

She knows that all of her daughters love her, but I can feel her pain. Erica has a weak stomach and avoids talk of mom's passing, the what-ifs, and the to-do lists for when she is gone. Consequently, she avoids visits with mom, but I do know that they have very frequent telephone conversations. However, Brenda has always distanced herself from the family. I think she's just happier that way. She seems to become so stressed out around mom and begins brewing and blaming her for things. Still, mom goes into defense mode saying that she is proud of Brenda because of her strong character, she will never have to worry about her because she can take care of herself and her family, and that's all she's ever wanted for us.  

I smile and agree.