Saturday, May 4, 2013

Pulled in every direction

Does lying on your death bed somehow validate being inconsiderate and rude?

As I sit here in this cramped room with its negative vibe hanging over me, and watching my mother insist on be catered upon to the extent that it does not just inconvenience, but tramples upon time with our children - I'm torn. Torn between serving my mother in her remaining days/weeks/months (who knows how long?) of life, and my responsibilities to my family and children. How does one prioritize this?

Mom could have only weeks, more likely months, but she could surprise us with years. Our homeschooling has been suffering these past few weeks and my children's education cannot sit by the wayside for months. Not to mention how my daughter is missing me, and I miss and need her so much right now. I will arrive home finally and she will, literally, jump around the room in attempts to monopolize my attention.  Her neediness is overwhelming as well.

Lately my schedule is work full-time (8:30-5:00, Monday through Friday), homeschooling my two youngest children, keeping up with mom's personal bills, feeding Aaron’s dog, Buffy, who resides at my mom’s home, and managing mom’s apartments (which includes bills, deposits, record keeping, balancing the checkbook, and interviewing prospective renters, and juggling the pest control representative). Roy had his knee surgery recently and is often times not much help around the house.  He goes for his physical therapy three days a week.  The house is in shambles most of the time, so I've got to fit in some time to pick up a little (thank God for the kids' chores).  I’m supposed to review the kids’ school work but haven’t had time for that.  Still trying to fit in bath time for Drew, and, oh yeah, feed everyone.  Drew has developed a bladder infection (or something like it) and after taking her to the doctor, I’m trying to keep her on schedule with her medication.


I’m just so ridiculously overwhelmed right now that I’m not sure whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt.

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